Dating a coworker?

cyclotronic

Diabloii.Net Member
Dating a coworker?

Yes i know, my first relationship thread, now usually i just let Sweet lady chloroform makes its move, but this ones different. This girl i work with, shes really into me. I'm interested in her. Leading to my query. Should i persue a relationship with my coworker?
 

Steel_Avatar

Diabloii.Net Member
If you can fire her, or if she can fire you, stay clear. Otherwise, go for it. Don't go putting flowers on your expense account though :p

Kidding aside, I was serious in the first sentence. If either one of you reports to the other, a breakup could be messy. Be careful if you're the kind of person who needs alone time. If you are, seeing her at work and outside of work may drive you nuts :)
 

cyclotronic

Diabloii.Net Member
Actually My boss has 2 right hand men, me being one of them, her being the other. We get paid more then everyone else and get to boss them around and what not, so we are equals. And i have never broken up because of a hissy fit.
 

DaviddeJong

Diabloii.Net Member
cyclotronic said:
Actually My boss has 2 right hand men, me being one of them, her being the other. We get paid more then everyone else and get to boss them around and what not, so we are equals. And i have never broken up because of a hissy fit.
A hissy fit might be even better! :lol:

Oh, and "go for it"!

David.
 

Steve_Kow

Banned
cyclotronic said:
Actually My boss has 2 right hand men, me being one of them, her being the other. We get paid more then everyone else and get to boss them around and what not, so we are equals. And i have never broken up because of a hissy fit.
Aren't you like 17? What type of job could you have that could be more important than a nice girl?
 

Pitboss_2000

Diabloii.Net Member
I dated a girl at my work for a while, and when she broke up with me seeing her on a nearly daily basis was pretty messed up, but if you're not expecting stuff like that to happen it's fine!
 

Freet

Diabloii.Net Member
I think we are a bit uninformed to make a qualified judgement on this case.

To give an educated opinion on this matter would require we know something about the personalities involved. If either of you are spiteful and the relationship doesn't go well then, considering your positions in the company, this could get messy.

Generally, I recommend not dating a co-worker because there is no clean break if it doesn't work out. You can't say, "I just won't see her again" because you will, every day, 8 hours a day, half of your concious life. If she found you to be a poor lover then you can rest assured you will be labled a poor lover by everyone that works there now and in the future. If she decides you don't tip well when at a restraunt you will be labled a cheap skate by everyone in your company...now and in the future. You can safely apply this general rule to any unpleasant fact that she perceives about you. Whether it be true or not.

I assure you that water cooler talk can make or break a man.
 

Ranger14

Diabloii.Net Member
Well, as Freet said, we need more info. What type of work place? How long have you worked there. Do you work together as a team in overseeing other employees. Some areas could get sticky if you were to have a falling out.

On the other hand, contrary to popular belief, when I was an HR Director I read many studies and reports in literature I would receive that dating a co-worker usually works out better than other relationships for many reasons including sharing common business interests and goals. I usually connect best with someone who has the same drives and goals that I have in business and the professional world.
 

Garbad_the_Weak

Diabloii.Net Member
If you plan on working there for more than 6 months, don't do it.

Freet et al was right. You have the mess about a breakup (and be realistic, you have a 90%+ chance of breaking up), gossip, and conflicts of interest and more.

I worked at the same business as my GF for quite a while. It was nice in some ways (we could go to lunch together, saw each other often) but was crappy in others (sometimes too much time together, you say you have to work late to stay at work and play d2, one of you might get upset if the other gets a promotion or project you both competed for, ec). All in all, too much risk of a really crappy outcome.

Plus, there are plenty of women to go around - you can afford to be picky. And whatever you do, don't try to hit and run. That WILL come back to haunt you.

Garbad
 

LoVePlAyBoY

Diabloii.Net Member
pfft i work at city hall for my co-op for my civil engineer degree and this good place to make contacts

i also find it very hard to stop looking, the milfs OHHH THE MILFS
 

D.K.night

Diabloii.Net Member
The workplace considers it unethical if as a result of your dating and failure to keep it discreet, you are the cause of gossip all over the place. Then the big hammer comes down.

I read a statistic that says that many meet their life mates at work. So to completely rule out the workplace for romance is being extremely shortsighted. Some say that, well there's so many fish in the sea. I say, how many of those fish are you actually compatible with? How many of those fish would actually take an interest in you? And vice versa? So now that we've whittled the numbers down considerably - why would you pass up a good chance when you see one, especially when she sits not twenty feet away from your desk/office/cubicle? Don't grow old and regret what might have been.

Having said all that - the company I work for...there has been several co-worker romances, the mandatory boss/hot secretary long lunches, even a marriage between a technician and the receptionist. The place is rife with gossip. Even I briefly dated one of the admin assistants. She turned out to be dumber than a stack of bricks, so that ended nice and easy, and *with no fallout*. There are ways of keep it down - an agreement between you and the young lady and whatever happens, this will be kept down and no gossip. You also have be a lot more diplomatic than usual should things not go well. I'm from the school that teaches "You can say anything to you want to anyone, and get away with it - but you have to say it right".
 

Ranger14

Diabloii.Net Member
Raistlin Majere said:
Read up on company policy. Alot of places consider it unethical.
There are some places that may consider it unethical, but unethical is way too strong of a term to label how companies view workplace romance. Most work places strongly suggest you don't do it, but few prohibit it and I have never heard of a company calling it unethical.

The main reason companies may frown upon workplace romances is due to the liability of potential sexual harrassment suit. Most companies have solid sexual harrassment policies and guidelines that can appropriately deal with any type of sexual harrassment issue. A company's liability depends on how the complaint is handled once it is received.

Here are interesting results from an AMA (American Management Association) survey.

http://www.amanet.org/press/amanews/workplace_dating.htm

Q. Did the dating result in any official action by the organization?

None 97%
Transfer 1%
Warning/Reprimand 1%

Outcome of Dating at the Office

Fully two-thirds of all those who have dated at the office have entered into long-term relationships. More than half of all relationships are continuing, most (44%) in the form of marriage.
Warning...PDF file: http://www.amanet.org/research/pdfs/dating_workplace03.pdf.
 

Beowulf

Diabloii.Net Member
Been there, done that and we have been together for almost 2 years now though neither of us works for the company we met at.
 

cyclotronic

Diabloii.Net Member
We are both supervisors at an upscale restaurant. I handle the bussers/cooks/dishwasher/expeditors and she handles the wait staff. I am more powerfull then her by a little bit, but she doesnt know this.

FOLLOW UP:
I took her to lunch this friday. We both had a really good time, but I know she won't be able to keep the gossip and what not down. Right after she got out of lunch she called my best freind to ask if i had a good time, then called her freind and told her ALL about it. Both of these people work with us. I'll talk to her about that and if she cant keep it down, then i have no choice but to end it. I'll be a manager next year and would like to keep being able to work there.

On a side note: We all go to the same school too.
 
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