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Country songs never written

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Freemason, Mar 11, 2004.

  1. Freemason

    Freemason Banned

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    Country songs never written

    We need some frivolity. Post your best country music songs never written.

    Here goes (even though I'll probably regret it)

    My World Ended (The Day the Bar Burned)
    Too Drunk to Fish
    Playin' Chicken with a Train
    Bubba Lovin' in Cell Block Three
    Moonshine in Sunshine
    She's Driving Me to Drinking (And I'm Taking the Express Lane)
    The Light at the End of the Tunnel is a Train
    Calling Nobody With My Last Dime
    Mamma Beat Up the Sherrif Again
    Family Weddings
    Getting Hitched at the Daytona 500
    Day After Chili Cookoff Blues
    Bass Fishing With Dynamite
    First Lovin' in a Bass Boat
    She Left (And Took the Dog Too)
    Her Mamma said baaa
    Mamma Wears Wife Beaters
    Up the Creek and Here Comes the Waterfall
    My Tricycle Had a Gun Rack
    Shot the Dog ('Cause He Drank My Beer)
    Went to Jail for Having Too Much Fun
    Drag Racing (Doesn't Mean Towing a Log)
    Painting the Watertower (To Keep Sis's Good Name)
    I Called "Suzy For a Good Time" Blues
    Roasting Hotdogs While the House Burned
    Tri-State Weekend Beer Run
    House Got a Flat (And I Ain't Moved Since)
    Redneck Hi-Tech or 8-Track on a Ladder
    Working My Fingers to the Bone for the Welfare Nation
     
  2. SteveMartinfan

    SteveMartinfan IncGamers Member

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    I heard a country song the other day about a dog...probably not the weirdest reason for a song, but not the norm, either >_<
     
  3. piff

    piff IncGamers Member

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    "She's Driving Me to Drinking (And I'm Taking the Express Lane)"

    When you first saw that, did anyone get the tune of She Drives ME Crazy stuck in their head?

    Very good, Freemason.

    I have a joke:
    Q: What happens when you play country music backwards?
    A: Your girlfriend comes back, your dog is revived, and you become sober again.
     
  4. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    867-5309 (Wish My Shack Had a Phone)
     
  5. nnndave

    nnndave IncGamers Member

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    -Alcohol and Live Ammunition
    -If it flies, it dies
    -Beer in my cereal
    -One for the road (featuring the river)
    -Blue skies on a rainy day
    -I can fill your canyon
    -You rode my bull for 8 seconds
     
  6. CaptJoe213

    CaptJoe213 IncGamers Member

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    funny thing, a lot of those are close enough to real songs to be scary!

    *puts on "she thinks my tractor's sexy" and does a redneck dance*
     
  7. Pierrot le Fou

    Pierrot le Fou IncGamers Member

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    • Kick me Jesus (through the Field Goal of life)
    • The "I voted for a Democrat" blues
    • Your heart is like an Ice Cube (if I only owned a fridge to keep you in)
    • Left me for my brother (sisters can be so cruel)
     
  8. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    I think one of those is real, kind of.
    There are a lot of lists out there of "funny country titles." Here are some that may or may not be real songs:

    All I Want From You Is Away

    You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too

    I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Almost Like Having You Here

    Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat

    If You Can't Be Good, Be Bad With Me

    Bubba Shot the Jukebox

    Are You Drinkin' With Me, Jesus?

    Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears

    How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?

    I'm Under the Table Over You

    Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life

    Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of Your Heart?

    I'm Gonna Put a Bar in the Back of My Car and Drive Myself to Drink

    Welcome to Dumpsville, Population Me

    If Love Were Oil, I'd Be a Quart Low

    Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed

    If You Can't Be Good, Son, Be Good At It

    My Phone Ain't Been Ringing, So I Guess it Wasn't You

    I've Been Roped and Throwed By Jesus in the Holy Ghost Corral

    I Bought the Shoes That Just Walked Out on Me

    She's Acting Single, I'm Drinking Doubles

    Is It Cold In Here, or Is It Just You?

    We Used to Kiss on the Lips, But It's All Over Now

    My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus

    Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone

    I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

    How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?

    You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'

    I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling

    You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

    If You're Gonna Do Me Wrong, Do It Right

    Thanks to the Cathouse, I'm in the Doghouse With You

    I Would Kiss You Through the Screen Door But It'd Strain Our Love

    I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for Me

    You Were Only a Splinter as I Slid Down the Banister of Life

    Did I Shave my Legs for This?

    I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me

    She Got the Gold Mine and I Got the Shaft

    My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him

    Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

    If You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put it Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart

    I Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond and She Clubbed Me with a Spade

    If Whiskey Were a Woman, I'd Be Married for Sure

    I Sat Down on a Beartrap (Just This Morning)

    She Looks Good Through the Bottom of My Shot Glass

    If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead?

    Mama, Get the Hammer (There's a Fly on Papa's Head)

    Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer

    I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim is Getting Better

    If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will

    My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

    I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

    Another long list here.
     
  9. dantose

    dantose IncGamers Member

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    I'm leaving (when I find the wheels to my home)
     
  10. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    I can't believe all of you forgot "I kissed my sweetie with my fist".
     
  11. Freemason

    Freemason Banned

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    I know those are real songs. The others I think are bogus.

    Piff, you got it wrong. When you play a country record backwards you get your dog back, you get your wife back, you get your job back, you get your house back and you get out of jail.

    ~Goes back to listening to Garth Brooks - Cowboy Cadillac~
     
  12. dorcusmalorcus

    dorcusmalorcus IncGamers Member

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    Her Daddy's Shotgun Sure was Shiny (on Our Wedding Night)

    Can She Be My Cousin and My Sister Too?

    Tequila Can't Make You Better Looking, But Whiskey Makes You Brave

    18 Years and 6 Grades (A Graduation Story)

    We Strung Him Up from That Big Ol Oak (for Running out of Beer and Bait)

    It Won't Pull My Bass Boat if It Don't Have a Hemi

    Salons are for Women, Saloons are for Men (Git it Right You Dumb Redneck)

    Eating 50 Jalepenos Really Hurts......Twice

    All the Beer in the World Won't Fill the Hole in My Heart
     
  13. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    His Ford Scratched My Chevy, So I Drowned Him at the Levee
     
  14. CaptJoe213

    CaptJoe213 IncGamers Member

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    Levee??? You think rednecks know this term? Get it right man, the crick! :lol:

    as an aside, I blame you for us rednecks not knowing levee :flip:
     
  15. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    Do you mean to say that no redneck ever "drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry"?

    And besides, this woman won the "Farm Song of the Year" award for a tune on Songs from the Levee.
     
  16. CaptJoe213

    CaptJoe213 IncGamers Member

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    okay okay, then I blame you for me and my redneck ****kickin friends from north texas for not knowin it lol
     
  17. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    You don't have levees in north Texas because there isn't any water there. :p
     
  18. nnndave

    nnndave IncGamers Member

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    If the phone don't ring you'll know it was me.


    p.s. durf, your thinking west texas, north texas has water dude.
     
  19. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    Sorry, I was holding my globe sideways again. Whoah, I'm in JAPAN???!?!
     
  20. CaptJoe213

    CaptJoe213 IncGamers Member

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    that's sooo true lol


    nnndave, ya gotta remember we're not dealin with just texans here. Most natives consider the panhandle 'west', though someone not from here would probably consider it north, since the panhandle is the part that is furthest up, considering a map.

    and here in the panhandle, we have like no water anywhere, even during wet years lol. We were nearly 10 inches down last year, rained like 3 drops over a square mile
     

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