Confesssions of a 22 year old


Diabloii.Net Member
Confesssions of a 22 year old

hey OTF,
I have to rant a little. I'm not really sure why I'm so depressed all the time (yeah, I know I have depression and I take meds for it...though I'm trying to quit). It just seems like there's not much in my life that I like.

Some of you may remember a little while ago I asked what I could do to get over my ex of 5 years...well, I'm still not over her at all even though it's been like 4 months. I thought I was doing alright but I'm figuring out that she's pretty much completely over me. For example, we're still firends and everything and she finsihed her exams on wednesday. She said she would call tonight just cause things were really busy for both of us (see later). She hasn't and I'm totally depressed (Yeah, I know I should have cut off all communications with her but I haven't been able to).

This week was supposed to be really great too. I went to a friend's after-exams party on friday night with a couple of friends but I still didn't have the best of times. I tried drinking to see if that would loosen me up a bit (the first time I even tried alcohol was last week). I either didn't drink enough or the alcohol doesn't do anything other than make me dizzy (I hate, HATE the taste of it and don't really like drinking anything). I was hoping to pick up a girl (hell, even talk to one would have been nice) but was didn't cause I was too shy or something. So nothing happened there, even though I'm going crazy (last time I even kissed a girl was in december...).

Last night I went out to a friend's bday thing. First time going to a bar like the one I went to (any Ottawa people will know what Lower Deck is like). Didn't talk to any ladies other than my friends and was pretty down cause of that (not to mention a $75 parking ticket...).

Other stuff that's not going to well with me: I start work tomorrow at a pharmaceutical company for coop and I have a feeling that the job is going to suck. From the interview I was told I'll pretty much be washing test tubes. Not the way I want to spend my summer. It's going to be inside a lab the whole day with no one to talk to and I'm afraid I'll go crazy - just like I did at my old job. I still have to talk to my supervisor to see what I'm going to be doing but I'm really not sure waht to expect and I don't like that.

Still living at home....I feel like I'm missing sooo much by not living on my own. I know, there's a bunch of benefits of living with my parents but I need something new. My friend told me he was moving somehwere for the summer and told me I could move in too but it fell apart since the room wasn't available. It would have been great and it would have saved me about 30 mins each way in transport time to work. At home things are driving me crazy. I live with my brother, his wife and my parents and the house seems very crowded at times. I don't get much privacy at times (like whenever I get a call - rarely it seems - my parents won't stop asking me who it is even though they know it wasn't for them).

I think the worst part is the feeling of invisibilty. I don't know if anyone knows what I mean but I feel like I have loser tattoed on my forehead at times. I have no luck with the ladies (it seems that girls don't even check me out in everyday life, let alone clubs or bars). My ex is pretty much fending guys off with a pointy stick but I'm the exact opposite. If I do get eye contact with a girl, I lose my confidence and can't even go talk to them. I have no idea what to say, much less interest them or charm them. I don't think I'm bad looking and some of my girlfriends even said I was hot (seems hard to believe right now) so I really don't know what's wrong with me. I know girls can sense depseration from a mile away, so maybe that's what it is. I also feel invisible cause I rarely get phone calls from friends just to talk. Yeah, I know it sounds strange for a guy but I like talking to people (even if I'm pretty quiet and shy). Another reason I don't like being alone all the time.'

Some things I'm looking forward to (I may be depressed, but it's not sooo bad all the time and I still have some stuff I'm looking forward to): I'm starting a class tomorrow. It should be good cause I'll be with 2 friends who I don't see too often but are still great to be with. Also, I should be able to meet some new people there. I think I have to force myself to talk to some people. Friday and sat nights for the summer are going to be good. I'm hoping to go every time since alot of myfriends are going to be back from uni for the summer. I may be pretty lonely right now but I'm thinking it's also a matter of time before a girl comes along (almost any girl at this time :D ).

If you've read this far. thanks...I feel better getting some of this off my chest. Also, any advice would be appreciated (anything, even "get over yourself, other people have it much worst" - I feel quilty cause I know this is true but I still feel pretty crappy).

try hanging out with your female friends more often, i'm sure that will help boost you towards girls you've just met, and help you talk to them more easily.

if you really want to talk, and your friends aren't calling or anything, just call them. unless you can sense they dont want to talk, theres nothing wrong with that.

also seems like you need a good laugh .. try this

=p hf


Diabloii.Net Member
"Get over yourself, other people have it much worse."

All joking aside, I'll admit that I am a lot like you. Little luck with the ladies, care very little for alcohol, and the friends I hang out with.. well. I'm sort of a part of every group but not really a major part. So I'll hang out with them but won't actually go out to do anything with anybody 'cause I guess they all assume I associate myself more with other groups. The one group I really fit it with is probably the one group of people I don't care to hang out with.

And so, I don't know what other advice I can give you other than to say that you're not really alone if there are other people like you. Try to be a little more forceful in joining groups. I've started and it seems to be working well. Take care and good luck.


Diabloii.Net Member
The moment you let anyone break your spirit is the moment you'll lose everything. We've all had it rough. Look foward and walk. And you'll make it.


to be honest it sounds alot to me as if you have found the wrong things to measure your life on. i mean, what are your plans ? what will you be like when you turn 30, 40, 50 ? what will you DO ?

a wise man once said that you have to develop your own personality to be atractive to any other personality around you. i get the feeling from your post that you look too much on things that went wrong and dont look enugh into things YOU wanna MAKE right in the future.

pretty hard task, i know, but hey taht s life :)

i mostly played computer games and didnt even look at ladies for almost 4 years till i got a grip on myself and made some plans. and all a sudden, i dont know where it came from, this beauty lies in my arms and outside the sun is shining again.

practical hints are much harder to give though, i m afraid, i think we d need to know a lot more about you. but dont let it get you down, fight ! :thumbsup:


Diabloii.Net Member
Care less. And by that I mean, don't sweat what other people think of you. That's why you get all nervous and shy when a girl comes around, right? You're worried about something:

1) she's too looking for you to talk to her
2) you have nothing to say
3) she probably has a boyfriend
4) you're afraid you'll do something embarassing

Something along those lines, right? Well here's the deal. If you're at a bar or a party or something, you're probably never going to see that girl again. So any encounter is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. And you really shouldn't worry about what someone who will never see you again thinks of you.

About the alcohol, I know there's a drink out there for everyone. Have you been drinking party beer? Because that's about the worst alcohol known to man. There are many drinks involving liquor where you can't really taste the alcohol. I'll give a strawberry margarita as an example. Had me one of those the other night (was sick of all this darn cold cloudy weather and needed something tropical).

If you find yourself with a lot of free time, start working out (if you don't already). Last summer, I took up running. I was in a similar situation. I had broken up with my girlfriend of over 3.5 years in June, and I moved back home to live with my mom for the summer. No one was around, I spent most of my days by myself. I had some friends that would come in and out of town, and I spent some time with my dad, but for most of the summer, it was just me. So one day I got out of my house and started running, didn't get too far, but that wasn't really the point. It got me into shape, and it gave me some good time to just think about things.

And I don't think I've ever heard of someone starting a co-op saying that it's another bad thing in their life. Getting a job, and getting experience and money isn't going to be a bad thing, even if the work isn't the greatest. There are plenty of people out there who would take that job in a heartbeat. So be happy you're starting a new job.

Last, you need some motivation. Like twoflower said, what are you planning for in your future. Give yourself a goal, one that doesn't involve anyone else. Something you can work on regardless of who is or isn't around you. And that's about all I've got.


Diabloii.Net Member
Hey, I enjoy cleaning test tubes/ experimenting with things. But maybe that has something to do with my love of Chemistry. :Shrug:


Diabloii.Net Member
They say love is the most powerful drug.

It starts off with extreme euphoria, diminishes off to attachment, and when you lose it you are completely crushed and suicidal.

If you believe that love is the solution to all your problems, then life is going to be a lot harder than it otherwise would be.

Just my two cents.


I'm 22. I have a wonderful fiancee and we just started our year countdown to the wedding. I have a good career that is only going to get better and an opening into an even better one available. I have a nice home and three affectionate kitties. My credit is perfect. I have a full university degree since last year. I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm good looking and smart and have close friends with whom I enjoy their respect. Oh yeah, and I too live in Ottawa. Small world.

I just wanted to point that out for a comparison example. Y'know, just in case people get depressed. :whistle: ;)

Ash Housewares

Diabloii.Net Member
I feel so left out, being 22 yet not living in Ottawa...


what is it with strawberry margaritas lately? strawberries suck!

that is all

Raistlin Majere

Diabloii.Net Member
You sound like me A, except drinking is something I dislike and could kill me with my meds.

I suggest finding an activity that forces girls to get to know you somehow, join a band or something.
Ash Housewares said:
I didn't get the part, and by the way I'm Goofy

I'm gonna make Wayne's head bleed
You want me to ask her? Okay, I'll ask her! Excuse me, miss, where do the high school girls hang out around here?