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Chuck Norris facts

Because I love this sticky booger of a forum, I wanted to share a cool site I found today.

All of you know of the awesomeness of Chuck Norris. Most of you have heard of the Chuck Norris facts. These are scientifically undisputed facts. To whit, check out the site: www.chucknorrisfacts.com.

My favorites:

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law & Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun...and won.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he used a precision placed roundhouse kick to create a wormhole he then used to go back in time and father himself.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

The first season of Survivor put people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors and everyone is too scared to go back and retrieve the footage.

The real reason human human cloning is outlawed is because if Chuck Norris were cloned, it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to come in contact with another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize this would destroy the universe.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

If harnessed, the energy in one Chuck Norris roundhouse kick can power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting because he's not acting.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you forty-seven times.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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