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Can you develop a deep intense on-line love without meeting someone in person?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Dirty_Zulu, Mar 31, 2005.

  1. Dirty_Zulu

    Dirty_Zulu IncGamers Member

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    Can you develop a deep intense on-line love without meeting someone in person?

    Friend is going to meet up in-person with a lady he's been chatting up online for the past few months. Accordingly they have "so much in common". He truely believes "she's the one". But I checked her photos and physically she's not really his type.

    Photos don't tell much but neither does falling in love from reading a bunch of text online.
     
  2. AeroJonesy

    AeroJonesy IncGamers Member

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    I've always felt there has to be some sort of physical connection or feeling to love someone. I mean, chatting with people online is great and all, but in the end, for someone I love, I need to be able to think about their smile, or they way they light up when I'm around, or how they love to wrap their arms around me. And I can't get that feeling from the internet. But maybe it doesn't work that way for everyone.
     
  3. Amra

    Amra IncGamers Member

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    It's called eLove.
     
  4. Steve_Kow

    Steve_Kow Banned

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    You just broke my heart. :(


    *Cancels plans to travel to Ohio*
     
  5. evild2player

    evild2player IncGamers Member

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    I too don't think it would work out very well if it was online. As AeroJonesy said there should be atleast SOME physical connection.
     
  6. Freet

    Freet IncGamers Member

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    Actually,
    I can say from experience that you can grow a strong infatuation with someone you have only socialized with on-line. Love? I suppose that would depend on that persons definition of love.

    For someone that has never really had many oppertunities to become close to another person, I could see where he might call love what I would classify as infatuation.

    I guess I'm trying to say that as individuals, we can't possibly decide what is love to someone else. We have a tough enough time figuring it out in our own lives.
     
  7. Ev_

    Ev_ IncGamers Member

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    For what I consider love, I would say no, you can't develop love online. Although you can most certainly develop a strong relationship. I met my last girlfriend through a friend...she saw a pic of me that he had, he gave her my SN, and we talked online for a month before we ever met. By the time we met we both kinda knew we were gonna be dating, and we did.
     
  8. DrunkCajun

    DrunkCajun Banned

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    I'm going to say yes.

    Aeval and I, while we did know each other from high school, our only interaction was both not being dressed out for gym one day and spending 30 minutes in mildly awkward conversation. We hardly knew each other and almost never had talked.

    When I went to college, I somehow wound up with her screenname my sophomore year. I started missing school, and Argentina, and wanted to talk to anyone I could that had that in common with me, and she and I began talking online. We talked off and on all year, and then by the next year began to chat regularly. By the end of my junior year we were chatting for 6+ hours a day, every single day. I fell head over heels for her, and vice versa. She came to visit me that August, and we started dating shortly afterwards.

    Our relationship has become a lot more 3 dimensional in person, but we learned a heck of a lot about each other online that we may not have in person because we felt enabled to say things online that we may have been too shy to say in person. We got to know each other very deeply because we opened up to one another, and in the process we grew dependent on one another.

    I don't think its as common as people think, but I do think it is entirely possible.
     
  9. neophase

    neophase Banned

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    impossible.

    words are words in chatting
    communication is communication in phoning
    face to face, you see facial expression, and can determine the truth in their eyes, many lie in their grinding teach online and on the phone.
    It's only through stillness, patience, prudence, time, experience, commitment, dedication, love, faith, hope, belief, trust, honesty, loyalty, obediance, courage, initiative, service, peace, that we find true-love.
    and the list can go on, feel the virtues of Heaven!
     
  10. DrunkCajun

    DrunkCajun Banned

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    Hmm. Maybe I should ask my fiancee for that diamond back, eh? Cancel the wedding?
     
  11. Garbad_the_Weak

    Garbad_the_Weak IncGamers Member

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    O_O

    I got siged. Wow... It seriously might be my first time ever.





    Online relationships also build a lot of false emotional attachment. For whatever reason, people open up to their personal problems a lot more. Its also harder to directly reject/ignore someone. Because of this, a lot of people feel more connected than they really are.

    I personally don't think you can love a person unless you have known them for a while and spent a lot of time together in a variety of circumstances. Because the internet creates a false environment, I don't think you can truly know a person on the net. Or by letter for that matter.

    Garbad
     
  12. AeroJonesy

    AeroJonesy IncGamers Member

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    Hey buddy, it's never to early to start the physical thing. To clarify what I said earlier, I think it's possible for love to start online, but it won't hold up without some sort of physical aspect, and that's why people always end up meeting each other.
     
  13. MixedVariety

    MixedVariety Banned

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    Agreed. In fact, I am a proponent of some of these dating/marriage online clubs. Some of the better-run ones are a great idea and work marvelously well to at least introduce people to similar potential mates. It's a great way to winnow through the chaff and get right to a few people who would likely suit you well.
    Add some honesty and some up-to-date honest photos, and there should be no real problems when you do meet. Then real love can blossom. But come on...an online love affair without any physical reconciliation (not sex, I mean live meetings) is only half-finished.
     
  14. DrunkCajun

    DrunkCajun Banned

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    :clap: Well said.
     
  15. ROMVS

    ROMVS IncGamers Member

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  16. XaviarGangrel

    XaviarGangrel IncGamers Member

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    Well, this is as good a post as any to return to the forums I've not posted on in ages with I suppose.

    Infact, the reason I've not been posting, is because I was busy moving from England to Australia to be with my now fiance, who I met via the internet, and had no physical contact with for the first four years of our freindship.. which grew into very real love that it is now.

    I would, obviously, say that its very very possible to fall in love over the internet. I dont think you can really do it just via games like Diablo, Counterstrike, or such.. I met my girl in an online RPG chat we enjoyed, and it was partly through the RP that I learned about her. But it was mostly through four years of talking to her Out of character, being her freind through many tough times for both of us, that I realised this was the person I wanted to spend my life with.

    Its not easy, and as someone has already said, it doesnt happen anywhere near as much as people think. But its possible. :thumbsup:
     
  17. Namyeknom

    Namyeknom IncGamers Member

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    Just remember people that internet chat (and indeed the internet in general) is an extremely new development in terms of human communication. We are all on the cusp of the new wave of human interaction. We are the pioneers, the explorers, in a time when we have all but shattered the physical barriers of our world, we turn to the web as our new unknown. Conventions and ideals of future internet use are all being dictated by what we do and say now.

    Does that answer the question? No, and I didn't intend to. All I wish to point out, is that we are still learning the lay of the land, the rules by which this new world opperates.
     
  18. HAMC8112

    HAMC8112 IncGamers Member

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    :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  19. Raena

    Raena IncGamers Member

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    I think you can develope a very intense friendship over the internet which may lead to reall love, but I don't think you can really call it love if you've never met the person.


    You seem very happy the smiles are back :lol:
     
  20. Elly

    Elly Administrator

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    I believe you can but I think the distance, whether it's online or as a pen pal, intensifies your feelings because there is that huge hurdle between the two of you. Once that hurdle is down and you can spend as much time in person with each other as you want, then it should become clear if it's reality.

    I've known three instances of elove. One, years ago, and they're still happy and together. Another, a friend moved to Canada to be with the one he'd met online and got royally screwed over. He came back here, fell for yet another woman online and again moved over to Canada to be with her and so far (4 months later) so good, all is still well.
     

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