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Cajun's "I want to laugh" OTF Pal Giveaway

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by DrunkCajun, Apr 14, 2005.

  1. DrunkCajun

    DrunkCajun Banned

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    Cajun's "I want to laugh" OTF Pal Giveaway

    Alright, I opened my big mouth in the Pal Forum and said I'd sponsor some new Pals, so here I am. Can't really ask for WoW screenshots for this one, so I'm going to put the burden of creativity on you all.

    Be funny. Make me laugh. Be original, or give credit to your source and it'll count just the same. Keep the humor clean-ish, enough not to anger any dillers, and we're good to go!

    If you want some idea of what I find funny, read Anakha's rant in my Common Courtesy thread. That had me laughing so hard in the office I was forced to copy it and pass it around by email because my coworkers thought I was crazy. You can also check an old blog of mine for my own sense of wry humor, though I warn that the language ranges from PG-13 to edging towards R. I've posted the link in another forum before, but if Freetster wants me to remove it, I will. Not sure about the policies of linking to a site that doesn't incorporate a word filter. At any rate: http://selfdeclaredroommate.************/

    If you find it really interesting, start back in August and read your way forward, just beware that it cuts off abruptly. He's gone now, in case you're wondering.

    Anyway, back to the Palnessdom stuff. I'll choose a winner based on my own opinion and what makes me laugh hardest. Winners will be able to choose between 1 month of Silver or 6 months Bronze. Feel free to try for both contests, just abide by the rules and be aware that I'm only gonna be able to make you a Pal once.

    I'll let this run for a week. Let the games begin!
     
  2. Lord_Shinnok

    Lord_Shinnok IncGamers Member

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    *hands DC a mirror*
     
  3. Necrolestes

    Necrolestes IncGamers Member

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  4. toader

    toader Banned

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    You wanna laugh.....??

    A tribute to R++'s new moderatorship....
     
  5. Hippie Holocost

    Hippie Holocost IncGamers Member

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    old but classic... click
     
  6. LunarSolaris

    LunarSolaris IncGamers Member

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    *fart* Uh huh hu hu hu hu hu.... [/butt-head laugh]

    Surely that elicited at least a smile from you DC. ;)

    Actually I don't need a freebie pal membership as I need to get off my lazy butt and renew my own membership.
     
  7. DrunkCajun

    DrunkCajun Banned

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    Yes, that last one got a smile Lunar. And yeah, I was wondering what happened, you've been a Pal as long as I can remember! Get on that!\

    Haven't checked all the links yet cause I'm at work, but I'll be watching em. Keep em coming, I can always use more humor.
     
  8. Sokar Rostau

    Sokar Rostau IncGamers Member

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    OK, so I have posted these elsewhere, but I'll come up with some new material in a few days.

    1. (This is an Aussie joke. A Willi-willi is a kind of tornado made of fire that dances on top of trees in a bushfire. In desert areas it is often made up of dust. During a bushfire in the desert it can be difficult to tell the two apart)

    An English explorer is out in the desert with his aboriginal guide when he sees a strange sight in the distance.
    "Tell me, Jackie, what is that I see over there?"
    Jackie looks for a moment and replies in a matter-of-fact tone of voice
    "Dat? Dat der be da willi-willi"
    The explorer looks at the willi-willi and then turns to his guide and says
    "Why do you call it a willi-willi?"
    Jackie looks at the explorer and grins.
    "Coz he get willi willi close to ya den he kill ya."

    2. (Why are there so many Priests hitchhiking anyway?...)

    A Priest is hitchhiking along the highway and no one has come by in about 6 hours. It has been raining, on and off, all day. Finally this rickety old Volkswagon Beetle pulls up beside him and the door flys open.
    "Need a lift, Father?" the driver asks.
    "Thank you, my son" the priest replies to the young man in the drivers seat as he clears junk for the priest to sit down.
    "Pretty wet out there, Father" the driver comments.
    "Indeed it is my son, but such is God's will"
    Charitable enough to give the priest a lift but not wanting to get into a theological discussion, the driver falls silent. After a few moments the priest speaks up.
    "Excuse me, my son, but do you mind if I have a cigarette?"
    "Not at all, Father, in fact I will join you." replies the young man.
    They both light up and more silence ensues. During this silence the priest has a look around at the filthy old Beetle. There are food wrappers (some with food still in them), empty cans (some of which once held Coke and others that held beer), magazines (some of which the priest quickly diverted his eyes from) and more than a few items he could not identify. Finally his curiosity got the better of him and he picks one of these up from the floor between his feet.
    "What is this my son?"
    The young man takes one look and nearly chokes on his cigarette. Quickly taking it off the priest and throwing it out the window the driver says
    "That was a condom father."
    "A condom? What is a condom for?"
    "They're for protection, Father"
    "Protection? Whatever from?"
    Thinking quickly now he replies
    "Erm...well Father, you see, erm, you put them on your cigarettes to protect them from the rain."
    "Ahhh...this is a great idea"
    Mercifully the priest changes the subject. Not too long after the young man leaves the priest at a truckstop and they say their goodbyes. Looking up to the sky, and seeing that rain is threatening again the priest goes into the shop
    "Do you sell condoms?"
    "Why...erm...y...y...yes, Father, we do" stammers the shocked young lady behind the counter
    "I would like to buy a pack of condoms, thankyou"
    Getting over her shock a little she says
    "What size would you like them in, Father?"
    He thinks for a second and then answers
    "Big enough to fit a Camel"

    3. (I don't know the exact translation here but a cattle station is like a ranch (but much, much bigger) and a jackaroo is kind of like a cowboy, a ute is like a pick-up)

    Mike is excited to get his first jackaroo job. He fronts up and is greeted by a burly sun-browned old jackaroo.
    "G'day mate, you must be Mike?"
    "Yeah mate, I'm Mike, you're the owner? You're Bill?"
    "Nah mate, Bill's gone to the Big Smoke for the week. Took most of the fella's with 'im too. I'm Bob, the Station Manager"
    "Meetcha, Bob"
    "Now, listen, mate, I know it's your first day an all, but I got a real urgent job for ya. Once ya throw ya kit in the shed I need ya to go up to the North Fence and repair it for me. Was a storm up that way last night an I can't leave this place untended."
    So Mike goes and throws his gear on the bunk pointed out to him then Bob takes him out to the ute and shows him a map of the property. And explains what needs to be done.
    "'Kay mate, should be a hard afternoon for ya but I reckon ya can handle it and be back here in time for some real hearty tucker. Just be careful out there. There's snakes and razorbacks and all kinds of nasties out there. Just to be sure, there's a rifle in the back here, next to the medical kit and a CB in the cab in case ya get in any trouble. Ya right with all that?"
    "Yeah," he lied. Mike had never seen a wild pig before, but he had heard of the vicious razorback boars, he didn't think he would have any problems though.
    "So git goin!" said Bob with a hefty slap on the shoulder.
    So Mike jumps in the ute and takes off down the road, following the directions he's been given. After a while there is an almighty THUMP! and he slams on the brakes. Thinking he might have hit a 'roo or a wombat or something he gets and has a look under the ute.
    "Ahhh crap." he says, before reaching for the CB and calling Bob.
    "Yeah mate? Ya all ready hit a snag didja? What's the problem?"
    "I hit a pig Bob. Big mean lookin bastard too and he's not happy. He's screamin and yellin' and makin a helluva racket. Theres blood everywhere. What should I do?"
    "Well it's simple really. Take the rifle, put the muzzle up the back of the bugger's head, and pull the trigger. Then heave the mongrel off the side of the road so he won't cause another accident and go fix the bloody fence. I thought you knew what you were doin'?"
    "Well, I do. Just wasn't sure and thought I should check. Never hit a pig before."
    "Alright, better to ask than to do the job wrong and get ya self in more trouble. Call me if ya need me."
    So Mike does exactly what he's told. He gets the rifle, puts the muzzle up the back of the pigs head and pulls the trigger. Then he drags the body to the side of the road. A few minutes later he calls Bob back.
    "Struth! What now?"
    "Well, I did what you told me to do. I took the rifle and shot him in the back of the head and I moved his body to the side of the road. Now theres just one more thing I need to know."
    "What's that?"
    "What am I supposed to do with his motorbike?"
     
  9. Jigga-Scrooge

    Jigga-Scrooge IncGamers Member

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    i once snorted an altoid.
     
  10. Jimi-

    Jimi- IncGamers Member

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    Hi DC, first of all i want to tell you what your doing is very generous :thumbsup: ,

    im not all that funny but i can give people some laughs here and there, the jokes i tell my friends are sometimes funny, but people laugh more of me then the jokes cause i cant stop laughing of myself when tell them

    heres one tough

    Two newly married couples were heading home for their first night as married,
    when they got home a man sat in their sofa in fairy clothing(hat and so on you know the picture), hello? what are you doing here asked the couple, im your luckyfairy im here to make all your wishes come true, but there is a glitch you have to do me a favour first,
    Ok whats that?, i want to sleep with your wife before you do tonight,
    the man thought for a long time but finally agreed to do it
    the woman and the fairy did it all night, when the sun came up and they had done their buisness the fairy come out of the bedroom and said ok now ill make your wish come true, I WANT TO BE THE RICHEST MAN ON THE EARTH,
    you got it said the fairy, but tell me something before i grant your wish
    your 25, married and you still belive in fairys?

    ---------------------------------------------------------------

    Three dead men were walking to the ports of ST.Peter,

    when they got there the gatekeeper told them to get in line and he will ask them one and one and tell them what car they would get

    he asked the first guy, how many humans did you kill ?, 5 said the guy
    , mhm that will get you a porcshe enjoy it now move on

    then he asked the second guy how many did you kill?, 10 he said
    mhm that will get you a toyota enjoy it now move on

    at last he asked the third guy, how many did you kill?, a thousand
    WHAT!?!?!?!?, DUDE that will get you a lada, i hope you enjoy now move on

    after three months or so the gatekeeper came back to see how things were going

    the first guy was in seventh heaven and enjoying the porsche

    how are you asked the gatekeeper to the second guy- humf, im fine it could have been better....

    when he came to third guy, he saw him laughing
    -why in gods name are you laughing, your supposed to be in misery
    - i am but but,he was laughing so much he couldnt talk
    -you what???, asked the gatekeeper
    -finally the man pulled himself together and said- i know im supposed to be in misery with my lada but i saw Hitler on a tricycle, ROFLMAO LOLOLOL :lol:
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    im only 15 years old, so i dont think we have the same humor,

    but did you find theese jokes funny or are they the sucka's?, if they arent funny ill add some new :thumbsup:


    EDIT: just came up with this one, i think youve all heard it before but

    two old grandmothers were out by the pool in the retirement home enjoying a cigarette, then it started to rain

    one of the grandmothers pulled a condom out of the pocket and cut the end of it pulled it over a cigarette and continued smoking

    whats that? asked the other grandma

    - oh dear, its a condom great for smoking outside when raining, your cigarette wont get wet when you have it,

    mhm i have to try that, where do you buy one of those?

    at your local grocery store, its easy go ahead and buy a pack of them,

    the old grandma wondered off to the grocery store, when she got there a young man was in the registry(sry for my bad english and writing),

    Hi, can i help you?

    -yeah ill take a pack of those condom things the grandma said

    -euhuoa the young man thought, what are you gonna use it for?

    - are you stupid son, what do you think?, now stop whining and give me a pack( she doesnt know what they are really meant for)

    - fine misses, disgusted by the thought of her doing that at her age, what kind would you like?

    -oh that dont matter sonny as long as it fits a camel!!
     
  11. ~Kazama Fury~

    ~Kazama Fury~ IncGamers Member

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    i can in that case, consider myself legally insane.
    didnt even bring up a smile. though its usually not that hard to make me smile or laugh. guess its not my type of humor.

    last thing i had a good laugh was with chinese restos call.
     
  12. Sokar Rostau

    Sokar Rostau IncGamers Member

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    Goddamn mother ****ing Jamster Frog I get that annoying little freak all frigging day on TV and after two seconds of that site I felt like killing myself. I swear if I ever hear that ringtone on the street I will eviscerate the user with a spoon and jam that phone so far up their arse they will be dialing with their teeth. What makes things worse is the Jamster Mobile Ringtones banner ad has popped up on this site. GRRRR I HATE THAT FROG!!!! /rant
     
  13. MixedVariety

    MixedVariety Banned

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    Hard to tell, but you don't like that Jamster Frog thing very much, do you?
     
  14. Raistlin Majere

    Raistlin Majere IncGamers Member

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    I hate that damn frog too.:mad:
     
  15. kernelpops

    kernelpops IncGamers Member

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    I don't want a paldom, as I plan to give some out tommorrow on tax day. But here's a good one


    A daughter goes to her father ta ask to use the car. The father says you will have to do something for me then. You will have to *deleted* *deleted* *deleted* *deleted* *deleted* *deleted* *deleted* *deleted* *deleted* *deleted* *deleted* *deleted*
    "Oh ,That's right your brother gets the car tonite" said the father.
     
  16. Freet

    Freet IncGamers Member

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    Yet again an OTF member steps up and takes ownership of the forum and it's well being.

    *applauds and applies some sticky to the thread*
     
  17. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    my humor is more conversational, I'm not really good at being funny on command, and I've never seen this jammster frog I hear only the worst from multiple sources, how bad can it be? quiznos bad?
     
  18. Hippie Holocost

    Hippie Holocost IncGamers Member

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    Maybe its just me, but I found Quiznos hilarious... I actually have the jamster frog as my ringtone for when work calls me. Oh well it was worth a shot...

    some funny pictures I found on the net

    click

    from a fellow creole

    and another
     
  19. Stoutwood

    Stoutwood IncGamers Member

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  20. Echod16

    Echod16 IncGamers Member

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