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Bush vs. Kerry

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by DurfBarian, Mar 26, 2004.

  1. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    Bush vs. Kerry

    I have looked into the future and I have seen the first debate between Bush and Kerry. Here it is in all its glory.

    Bush: War on terror

    Kerry: Vietnam

    Bush: Evil doers

    Kerry: Band of Brothers

    Bush: Grave and growing

    Kerry: Imminent?

    Bush: Let me step back a moment

    Kerry: (sensing weakness) Mekong Delta

    Bush: (regaining composure) Massachusetts Liberal

    Kerry: I don't like to talk about it, but I'm a war hero.

    Bush: Bring it On

    Kerry: No, I have three words for you. Bring ... It ... On

    Bush: Let's Roll

    Kerry: I'm coming, you're going and...

    Bush: I haven't heard you talk like that since our Skull and Bones initiation week.

    Kerry: ... don't let the door hit you on the way out.

    Bush: (pounding a fist) The Almighty, Faith-based, Mel Gibson, God Bless

    Kerry: Ketchup fortune, good hair, tall, I can still drink

    Bush: Fake Vietnam stories

    Kerry: That was Bob Kerrey

    Bush: Dukakis

    Kerry: Ashcroft

    Bush: Lobbyists

    Kerry: Halliburton

    Bush: Fonda

    Kerry: AWOL

    Bush: The South!

    Kerry: Smart people

    Bush: You're rich!

    Kerry: You love the rich

    Bush: *** marriage, Sodomy, the L word, Carson Kressley

    Kerry: Ralph Reed?

    Bush: Shadows, caves, murderers

    Kerry: Program related activities?

    Bush: (with the classic accusatory smirk) ... Senator!

    Kerry: (taken aback) ... (long pause) ... Flightsuit!

    Bush: Military spending dove

    Kerry: Flightsuit

    Bush: Votes to cut funding for intelligence agencies

    Kerry: Flightsuit

    Bush: Bring it On

    Kerry: Bring it On

    (source)
     
  2. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    There's a second debate too.

    Kerry: Bring it On

    Bush: No, you Bring it On

    Kerry: Alabama No Show

    Bush: No funding to support our soldiers

    Kerry: I am our soldiers

    Bush: Tax and Spend

    Kerry: Nu-cu-lar?

    Bush: Wartime President

    Kerry: Mission Accomplished?

    Bush: Northeast Liberal

    Kerry: The Texas Rangers?

    Bush: The U.S. Senate?

    Kerry: Lincoln Bedroom

    Bush: Lincoln, Nebraska

    Kerry: That's Bob Kerrey

    Bush: Let's Roll

    Kerry: I've got three words for you...

    Bush: $87 Billion

    Kerry: $7 Trillion

    Bush: Family values, stem cells, traditional marriage, American wife

    Kerry: Howard Stern, John McCain

    Bush: Foreign Leaders?

    Kerry: Plenty of 'em.

    Bush: Name names.

    Kerry: Private conversations

    Bush: Waffler, credibility, wishy-washy, accusatory, fake.

    Kerry: Crooked liar

    Bush: Who was it, Chirac? Sharpton? I want the truth

    Kerry: You can't handle the truth

    Bush: But Cheney's a master at handling it

    Kerry: OK, Chirac

    Bush: Come on, which foreign leaders?

    Kerry: Mubarak, Vajpayee, Bondevik, Blair, Kohl, Kwasniewski

    Bush: I want names

    Kerry: Mbeki, Zapatero, Erdogan, Martin, Howard, Clark

    Bush: Shouldn't have said it if you can't back it up...

    Kerry: Putin, Lula da Silva, Verhofstadt, Spidla, Hu

    Bush: So then there's no one.

    Kerry: Rasmussen, Stephanopoulos, Medgyessy, Ahern, Sharon...

    Bush: Sharon?

    Kerry: Didn't like the nickname.

    Bush: What's wrong with "Pringles?"

    Kerry: DeLay

    Bush: Kucinich

    Kerry: Cheney

    Bush: Sharpton

    Kerry: You mentioned him already

    Bush: You bet I did

    Kerry: Ground Zero images in commercials

    Bush: With us or with the Kerrorists

    Kerry: The Skull and Bones circle jerk initiation, 1968

    Bush: The Skull and Bones circle jerk initiation, 1966

    Kerry: Short

    Bush: French Hair

    Kerry: Limbaugh, Hannity, O'Reilly, Ingraham, Coulter, Novak, Savage, Falwell

    Bush: Garofalo

    Kerry: Ken Lay

    Bush: Martha

    Kerry: Bring it on!

    Bush: No, you bring it on!
     
  3. cyclotronic

    cyclotronic IncGamers Member

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    Kerry can destroy him in a debate. The thing gore did wrong was he agreed on almost everything the opposition said. He had the intellectual upperhand and never used it. HE didnt want to seems to passive, but when he became aggressive bush smeared him for using a negative campaign. So he agreed on a lot of the topics. This time kerry needs to be aggresive from the start(like he is) and stay aggresive. But atthe same time not look like he has to used character assassination to win.

    The thing that gets me is Bush ran the most negative caimpaign in south carolina i have ever seen and kicked the competition from the primarys. But no one called him for it, then he goes aroung and slams gore for being to negative.
     
  4. EdgeFrog00

    EdgeFrog00 IncGamers Member

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    The debate would be over much quicker if it went like this:

    Whichever canidate accuses the other of having the endorsement of the American Trial Lawyer Association, the other will pull a Richard Nixon and collapse into a gellatinous blob and lose the election.

    Life rule #7: Whoever lawyers like, I usually don't. :lol:
     
  5. Starfishied

    Starfishied IncGamers Member

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    Does anyone else find this hilarious?
     
  6. Spook_Cell

    Spook_Cell IncGamers Member

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    You forgot to add the third party candidate.....oh wait the US government is a two party system. I vote for the pot party then :lol: .
     
  7. Akira

    Akira Member

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    What's the L word?
     
  8. cyclotronic

    cyclotronic IncGamers Member

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    A show in showtime about lesbian couples.
     
  9. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    I think up there it means "liberal." :drool:
     
  10. Freemason

    Freemason Banned

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    I'd rather see Kerry debate himself.

    I voted for the $87 billion dollars before I voted against it? :lol:
     
  11. maccool

    maccool IncGamers Member

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    Durf, I always knew that people from Eugene were the rad. But, you, my good man, have cemented that fact for all time. 18th and University! Represent!

    The sad part is, the debates will go like that. At least they'll be more interesting. I reckon Kerry will be better than little wooden boy, as cyclotronic mentioned.

    Best post(s) ever, Durf. Well, today anyway
     
  12. Sergeant

    Sergeant IncGamers Member

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    That was absolutely beautiful...
     
  13. ericbres

    ericbres IncGamers Member

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    :howdy: Me ...

    That is a disturbing vision ...
     
  14. Freemason

    Freemason Banned

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    Be afraid, be very afraid... I'm working on the Kerry vs. Kerry debate using his own words. Unfortunately it's taking me forever since I can't work on it for more than a few minutes at a time :rant:
     
  15. publius

    publius IncGamers Member

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    Thats good, it would be a nice counterpart to the Bush vs. Bush debate using his own words.
     
  16. SaroDarksbane

    SaroDarksbane IncGamers Site Pal

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    That was friggin' hilarious. Only makes it more funny because at some level, we all know it's true. :lol:
     
  17. LunarSolaris

    LunarSolaris IncGamers Member

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    *clears throat*

    I think that it an opportune time to remind all of you that amidst the squalor, bickering, and infighting, there there really IS another choice for you this coming November...

    Let me just take this opportunity to remind you that my candidacy for president still stands. When November rolls around, there WILL be changes in Washington. (Not Washington DC, per se.... perhaps more along the lines of Washington state. And when I say "changes", I might not be talking about actual political changes, moreover, personal changes. But dammit, there WILL be changes lemme tell you!).

    Remember, a vote for LunarSolaris in November means a peaceful nights sleep for all.

    LunarSolaris for president in 2004!!!

    Free beer & cheetos available in the back
     

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