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Bush Prefers Waffles to Pretzels

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Munch, Mar 10, 2004.

  1. Munch

    Munch IncGamers Member

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  2. toader

    toader Banned

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    Arent people talking about this same topic in another thread?
     
  3. ItsaMeMario

    ItsaMeMario IncGamers Member

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    Who cares? Really, who cares. The election is approaching and I'm SURE he'll be voted out of office. Furthermore, just like all past great idio....err...leaders of our countrys, he'll be turned into a 10 year-long comedy skit on Saturday Night Live, continously being morally beaten until he's slowly forgotten.
     
  4. llad12

    llad12 IncGamers Member

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    I figured those little flip-flops came from somewhere other than the e-mail I received from a friend of mine. :thumbsup:
     
  5. Munch

    Munch IncGamers Member

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    Yes, but no one said it quite as humorously as I did.
     
  6. maccool

    maccool IncGamers Member

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    As much as I'd like to believe a leftist web log, I ain't gonna. But the preztel thing is absolutely hilarious; words can't describe how funny that is. Well, they can, but I don't feel like thinking of them.
     
  7. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    whatever you say

    I like pretzels
     
  8. ItsaMeMario

    ItsaMeMario IncGamers Member

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    I think it would have been 10000x funnier if he had choked on a hot-dog or something of the sort.
     
  9. llad12

    llad12 IncGamers Member

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    Speaking of e-mails, I thought this one was cute:



    My mid-western friends that sent this are republicans, but I guess Mr. Bush has disappointed them and others...... I don’t know how much of this is true, but I do recall some of these. The AWOL thing hasn’t been resolved.

    George W. Bush Resume


    ==================================================

    George W. Bush

    EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

    LAW ENFORCEMENT:

    I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver’s license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been “lost†and is not available.

    MILITARY:

    I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

    COLLEGE:

    I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

    I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

    I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I

    bought an oil company, but couldn’t find any oil in Texas. The company went

    bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers

    baseball team in a

    sweetheart deal that took and used taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

    I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

    I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American

    history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my

    father’s appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing

    by over 500,000 votes.



    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

    I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

    I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

    I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

    I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

    I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I’m proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.

    My “poorest millionaire,†Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

    I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.

    President.

    I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

    My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.

    More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

    I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

    I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

    I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

    I’ve broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

    I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

    I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. “prisoners of war†detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

    I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

    I set the record for least number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

    I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

    After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst

    security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for the

    U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made

    the

    U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

    I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

    I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation.

    I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

    I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families—in wartime.

    In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

    I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

    I am supporting development of a nuclear “Tactical Bunker Buster,†a WMD.

    I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

    All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father’s library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

    All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

    PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

    PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW.
     
  10. Drosselmeier

    Drosselmeier IncGamers Member

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  11. memememe173

    memememe173 IncGamers Member

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    I only like the salt. I link it off and put it back.
     
  12. iq144

    iq144 IncGamers Member

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    Little did we know, an assassin was waiting in the shadows...
     
  13. SaroDarksbane

    SaroDarksbane IncGamers Site Pal

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    Here's the rebuttal for that list.
     
  14. maccool

    maccool IncGamers Member

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    Not exactly. It rebutts a more 'comprehensive' list. By comprehensive, I mean outright lies perpetrated by idiots; never let it be said that the right has the monopoly on idiocy.

    Llad's list is just the salient points that aren't total left-wing tripe. You really should've read the whole 45 pages of your link, it was even in large type :D
     

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