Battle Tales: Team 1337 Druidz: Rip the Maggots a new hole!

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Battle Tales: Team 1337 Druidz: Rip the Maggots a new hole!

Hey all


Current Level: 20
Act and Quest: 2 , arcane
Casualties: 0

This is a battle tales of a team of HC ladder USWEST druids. Most of us haven't played pvm in so long we can't remember how! Our quest is to play as far as we can until we all die. Our goal is to wipe out hell nithalak using mostly poopy gear if we can.

The team is captained by me and Proudfoot, although other druids are regulars. If you want in, all you have to be a druid roughly the same level, semi-untwinked (no good items allowed, but you are allowed some low level set items to level quickly). Simply msg me (*garbad_the_Weak) or Proud (*Proudfoot) and we will play.

We typically play 1 pm mst or 6 pm mst, depending on my and prouds work schedules.

Participants in this report:

Garbad lvl 20
FlameRainer (Firestorm and armageddon)

Proudfoot lvl 18
Hunter (bow and summons)

Steve0077 (bear) lvl 21
Fenris (rancid dog) lvl 16
Coldarmy (nude O_O ) lvl 13
electric blue (lagromancer) lvl 15


"I think we escaped them," Proud muttered. "How do you live with all those swarms of admirers trying to give you free items Garbad?

I glanced around at the piles of gifts my fan club had given me today. Armor, swords, and gold lay splattered everywhere, almost filling the entire rogue fortress (or wth ever act 1 is called). Although we appriciated the generous gifts, we had far more than we could carry. To compound matters, many were items that had level requrements as high as 85!

Being funloving and reckless druids, we knew we would be dead long before we could wear those items. We also didn't want to carry them, well, because we were lazy. Instead, we let our rancid dog mark our territory and left the items to smoulder.

A series of recent Andariel "wardrobe malfunctions" had left the group quite well equipped (most had sets or uniques on almost all slots) and we were hungry for some action.

The maggot hole provided the perfect opportunity for the action we sought.

Proud was a bit jealous of some of the other, stronger druid's prowress in battle, however, and complained a bit.

Me winnar!


P.S. Future stories will include reports of the battles with screenshots! Anyone who participates in the battles can write up a story about them!


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That's my comment.


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Oh, shoot. Just had computer troubles, so can't get on d2 for I dont know how long. Gonna email blizz...stupid connecting issue.


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Jackson said:
Oh, shoot. Just had computer troubles, so can't get on d2 for I dont know how long. Gonna email blizz...stupid connecting issue.
i'm having the same problems. i keep getting temp ip banned and i'm afraid i'll while the lag comes. well i'll still try to get to act 2 and lvl 20.


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The air was thin and smelled like rancid god pee. "God that reeks!" exclaimed CA13 as he wandered through the rogue thingy[refer to Garbad]. Having inquired with Warriv the Pooper Scooper the whereabouts of his travelling group, he decided to have a run in with Gheed to discuss armaments for battling. Gheed told CA13 that the previous party had looted him of his greens and browns, and all he had left were yellows and greys and holes and whites and blues.
"One time deal, doggy boy," he sneered. I guess I only have one life to live[isn't it always like that?]. Anyway, being the poor bastard that I was, I rushed myself through the first leg of the journey, killing, murdering, sneaking, snooting, shooting, rooting, hooting. And somehow came out to the 2nd act broken, bleeding and smelling like rancid pee. After trying to leave town, I found out that my merc was in cahoots with the groundskeeper and I was left with no merc. The guard who stole my wench was so impressed with the gripping ability of her hands[INUENDO!!!!!!!!], he felt sorry for me and handed me one of his fat smelly pikemen to serve me instead[sorry Garbad, my merc wasn't doing it, she just keeps dying]. So here I am looking for my party....
And one more thing...CA13 still hadn't chosen yet his profession. Shall he dabble in magics? Bash stuff with a hammer? Throw sticks? Bite people? Throw bowling balls? Hmm....we shall see..


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Æ’enris said:
Oh and I found a +3 werebear +3 oak for whoever needs, 17 fire resist 20 cold as well.
cool, i found a +2 wolf +2 something else 2 socket pelt. now just lookin for ort + sol for lore. LOL i thought i'd never make such a nub helm, but man, i have no uniques/sets and that helm is looking very sexy to me.


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Hax! I never whinelar!! Dai Gaybard!!

Yeah, coldarmy13 has 666 posts right now. Cool.

BeastOfTheField crept quietly along the horizon, which was very hard to do, since its location was relative to his. Relatively far away. But he was so leet, he could do it.

His powerful Raven friends circled over his head, and his uber wolves with Dire abilities prowled nearby, ready to tear open any approaching enemies with frightful efficiency.

BotF spotted an enemy, readied his bow, then fired with a piercing battle cry. Baal dropped dead from the amazing shot. The Dire Wolves started to eat his flesh.

"Darn," he muttered. "I was aiming at the Quill Rat."

IsoRABID made his way through the dark tombs under the sweltering deserts, a stark constrast, he felt the chill in his bones. Glancing sideways he saw CA13 and wiped a bit of drool off his face. He came upon a bunched up pack of reanimated skeletons and their master, a mummy.
"Watch," he said to his companion.
Running forward he crunched through the arm bone of a skeleton, and it raised its axe laughing at the small wound.
Suddenly, the look in it's eye sockets changed from hunger, to fear, to pure anger. It's body began to glow with a red light, and it's companions soon were glowing red, the mummy was helpless to watch as it's army was quickly destroyed and fell to the floor in a pile of bones. The last remaining skeleton began to walk slowly back towards the mummy, it started to back away, but too slow, as it too became infected with the body-destroying disease called rabies.
"bahahahaha ownededzor."


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CA13 watched as his wolf brother infect hordes of the dead, and shrugged, "hey someone's gotta re-kill them." CA13 rushed forward and killed all the damn undead masters so that they couldn't raise the dead again.

As they neared the ominous tomb of tal rasha...they could hear some maniacal laughter and crazy wailing down in the depths of darkness. They grinned at each other and then proceeded through the tombs and eventually found their way to the orifice that looked like a giant welt in the ground. Smirking, rabid stuck the staff in the hole[LOL!!! in teh holezor!!!1!one!1!]. a big sparkly thing sprouted and made a big hole in the wall. wow. amazing. they entered the darkness and saw a big smelly bug thing with a blue aura around its butt.
"hope we can do it"
"yea i dunno man"
The two mercs began tanking as rabid's poison began to infect the big bug while CA13 wailed away with fang and claw until shortly, the thing died. with a plopzor. Both wolves were unscathed and laughed it off. They talked to jehryn the harem master and he granted them leave into act 3.....

omg pwnij fen. hurry u guys to act 3 i am lonely....

where's my damn sol rune...what?


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Too bad I'm on east. If I wanted to run with yah guys, would have to get a norm rush on reg to play HC :lol:

I would make a windy druid. That I would. Yep.

BTW, Fenris, Your guide has helped me create a KICK *** druid. I got my friend to make one as well, and we rushed ourselves through hell, alone last night. It was good stuff.



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*Glances at the necromancer*


"Didn't we say druids only?" I muttered. Dang necros lagging up my games and then trying to pk me in pubs. How annoying.

The necro didn't bother to look up from enjoying himself with the dead.

"Perhaps he may meet with an accident along the way," I said to Proud with a little smile.



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I'd still like to play with you guys... when are you on anyway??? I got a windy at about lvl 15 that could join up if I can ever find you online. Acct is *daughterofnight
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