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Arrested by FBI carrying weapons of maths instruction ifra

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by frygia, Mar 22, 2004.

  1. frygia

    frygia IncGamers Member

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    Arrested by FBI carrying weapons of maths instruction

    At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual was arrested when he tried to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, US Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

    Al-gebra is an odd cult whose leader is believed to be a cosine of Osama Bin Laden, Ashcroft said. There are several divisions and they are prepared to use a wide variety of means to achieve solutions. The members sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. In addition, they use secret code names such as x and y and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we are positive that they belong to a common denominator known as the Axis of Even, with coordinates in many countries.

    As the Greek natural philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle, Ashcroft declared. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said: If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

    I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from those who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard.

    Under the circumferences, and factoring in all the variables, we must stand united and draw the line, cos divided we fall.

    President Bush also warned: These weapons of maths instruction have the potential to decimal our society on a scalene never before seen, unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and rid the world of this entirely negative organisation. The President concluded: Read my ellipse. Here is one principle we are not uncertainty of--though they continue to multiply, we are circling in ever closer, and their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks.
     
  2. zelfmoordis

    zelfmoordis IncGamers Member

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    GREAT!

    :wave:
     
  3. Creature

    Creature IncGamers Member

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    HAHA!!
    Quite amuising my friend quite amuising indeed.

    Salut to the poster!!
     
  4. frygia

    frygia IncGamers Member

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    Thanks Creature, zelfmoordis :worship:

    I know OTF people like to be well-informed of striking news.
     
  5. Yavanna

    Yavanna IncGamers Member

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    I read this assuming you're very not serious about this.

    If you are, warn me now so I can kill myself.
     
  6. cleanupguy

    cleanupguy IncGamers Member

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    Oh wow. I am impressed if you wrote this yourself. Very amusing and fun. :thumbsup:
     
  7. frygia

    frygia IncGamers Member

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    Yavanna, please don't kill yourself!!! I'll say whatever you want me to, what was it? Ahhh . . . yes:

    "I'm not serious about this"

    Uffff, one more day, one more life saved *wipes sweat from brow*
     
  8. frygia

    frygia IncGamers Member

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    No it wasn't me, it was a friend of mine . . . can't steal his glory :D
    But I thought it so funny that I posted it here. I mean, poor Durfie has to have a break sometimes :xrollseye
     
  9. ULTIMATER

    ULTIMATER IncGamers Member

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    Maths Intructions . . . Pure gold

    *dies of laugh*
     
  10. strijdje

    strijdje IncGamers Member

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    Al-greba :teeth:
     
  11. P2blr

    P2blr IncGamers Member

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    *smacks forehead*

    *chuckles*

    "the notorious Al-gebra movement"
     
  12. Suicidal Zebra

    Suicidal Zebra IncGamers Member

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    On a similar topic... well, not really, but involving maths and comedy :)

    Not nearly as original though, but fun nonetheless IMO :D
     
  13. Akira

    Akira Member

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    Hilarious. :thumbsup:
     
  14. Dj_Otaku

    Dj_Otaku IncGamers Member

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    Your joking, right?

    Dj_Otaku
     
  15. th5418

    th5418 Banned

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    I hope its a joke. If not, linky please!
     
  16. dantose

    dantose IncGamers Member

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    the word algebra actually comes from arabic (they were top of the mathematical and medical heap during europe's dark ages)

    Many al- words are borrowed from them
     
  17. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    "The object of this lecture is to frighten half of you away"

    Man, I took a few classes like that back in the day . . . scary stuff.

    Good post Frygia! Here's hoping the war on terrorism can be expanded to take out these nefarious guys. They are definitely a threat, no matter how many times those blasted liberals try to paint them as an imaginary number of foes.
     
  18. dantose

    dantose IncGamers Member

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  19. Killfrenzy

    Killfrenzy IncGamers Member

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    i recently heard from a friend that someone they knew had a compass (the math circle drawing thing) confiscated before they got on a plane. ok i know they have that sharp pointy part, but i think if someone tried to hijack a plane with a compass, the passengers could overpower them!

    i mean really its not like 1 lil poke will kill you. Maybe if you jabbed someone with it a few hundred times and then tied him up so he could in no way stop the bleeding he might die from bloodloss.
     
  20. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    It only took box-cutters to kill thousands. Best to err (a bit) on the side of caution.

    Now tweezers, though, are another matter, and I have heard of those being confiscated.
     

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