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Application to Become Anakha's Girlfriend

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Anakha1, Feb 3, 2004.

  1. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    Application to Become Anakha's Girlfriend

    Are you lonely? Tired of looking for that special someone and just want to settle for less? Do you have a lot of Karma to burn off?

    Then apply for the position of Anakha's Girlfriend! Whether the reason you're here is boredom, curiosity or you actually have an attraction to him that can't be medicated, we can help! Apply now and you could be on your way to a fantastic world of highjinks, tomfoolery and wonder! Please fill out the form below and we'll make sure this intimate process is as non-intimate as possible (legal reasons).


    Personal Info:

    Gender
    [ ]Female
    [ ]Male
    [ ]I Don't Like to be Labelled

    Age:
    [ ]Illegal
    [ ]18-22
    [ ]23-30
    [ ]I'm Wearing Adult Depends

    Where Do You Live?
    [ ]Canada
    [ ]Canada - The Ottawa Region
    [ ]Anywhere Else

    Ethnicity:
    [ ]Caucasian
    [ ]Black
    [ ]Hispanic
    [ ]Middle Eastern
    [ ]First Nations
    [ ]Oriental
    [ ]European
    [ ]I Come From the Planet Kaploop
    [ ]We're All Part of the Rainbow

    Religious Affiliation:
    [ ]Christian
    [ ]Jewish
    [ ]Muslim
    [ ]Hindu
    [ ]Buddhist
    [ ]Agnostic/Atheist
    [ ]Other
    [ ]I am the leader of a secular cult
    [ ]I worship the Little People
    [ ]I believe I AM Jesus

    Hair Colour
    [ ]Brown
    [ ]Black
    [ ]Blonde
    [ ]Red
    [ ]White/Grey
    [ ]Radioactive Koolaid coloured
    [ ]I am follicly challenged

    Hair Length:
    [ ]I step on it frequently
    [ ]I can tuck it into my pants
    [ ]Long
    [ ]Shoulder Length
    [ ]Neck Length
    [ ]Short
    [ ]I look like Patrick Stewart

    Eye Colour:
    [ ]Blue
    [ ]Brown
    [ ]Green
    [ ]Hazel
    [ ]Yellow
    [ ]Slits like a cat
    [ ]Glowing Red
    [ ]Glass
    [ ]Can change it at will

    Height:
    [ ]Midget
    [ ]Dwarf
    [ ]5'0-5'3"
    [ ]5'4"-5'7"
    [ ]5'8"-5'11"
    [ ]6'0"-6'3"
    [ ]Giant
    [ ]I Climb the Empire State Building

    Weight:
    [ ]I avoid drafts and cracks in the floor
    [ ]Slim
    [ ]Athletic
    [ ]Average
    [ ]Bigger
    [ ]Butch
    [ ]I ate Louie Anderson
    [ ]I'm just going to lie anyways

    My Style Most Resembles
    [ ]Catherine Zeta Jones: Classy and Beautiful
    [ ]Julia Roberts: Desired By All but is Death for Relationships
    [ ]Pamela Anderson: Enough Said
    [ ]Reese Witherspoon: Fun-Loving and a Great Sense of Humour
    [ ]Angelina Jolie: Scary-Hot and Gets Into Trouble
    [ ]Rosie O'Donnel: Thinks She Knows What's Best For Everyone
    [ ]Roseanne Arnold: Just Die Already
    [ ]I Do Not Resemble Other Humans

    I Frequently Wear (Check all that apply)
    [ ]Glasses
    [ ]Contacts
    [ ]A Bandana
    [ ]A Hat
    [ ]A Giant Hat
    [ ]A Feather Boa
    [ ]Mr. T Style Jewellery
    [ ]My Wedding Ring
    [ ]An Oversized Foam-Rubber Hand
    [ ]The Pelts of Past Boyfriends
    [ ]A Shirt Thats Says "I'm with stupid
    [ ]Nothing At All
    [ ]My Heart on My Sleeve
    [ ]A Trophy Heart Around My Neck
    [ ]Other:




    Aspirations

    Highest Level Of Education Completed
    [ ]Home Schooled
    [ ]I'm a product of Bush's education "programs"
    [ ]I learned on the streets
    [ ]I kicked *** at toy time
    [ ]After grade 8 I was all like "screw this ****"
    [ ]Currently in highschool
    [ ]Highschool graduate
    [ ]In College
    [ ]College Graduate
    [ ]In University
    [ ]I have an Undergraduate
    [ ]I have a Masters
    [ ]I have a Doctorate
    [ ]Steven Hawking ain't got nothin' on me
    [ ]Future Ruler of the Universe
    [ ]I'm smarter than you

    In Post-Secondary You Major(ed) In
    [ ]Nothing
    [ ]Undecided
    [ ]Arts
    [ ]Social Science
    [ ]Engineering
    [ ]English
    [ ]Getting Smashed
    [ ]Stuffing cheese into your mouth

    Current Employment
    [ ]Unemployed
    [ ]Wait... Thet give money for NOT working??
    [ ]Looking for work
    [ ]Social Work
    [ ]Public Service (Including Government)
    [ ]Cubicle Job
    [ ]Physically Intensive
    [ ]Model
    [ ]Drug Peddler
    [ ]Illegal Immigrant


    Do you Have Any Career Aspirations
    [ ]Yes
    [ ]No
    [ ]There are people who don't?
    [ ]I'm living off the government tip!
    [ ]"Would you like fries with that?"


    If so, what are they?



    Your thoughts on children?
    [ ]They're Adorable
    [ ]They're Cute
    [ ]They're ok as long as they're mine
    [ ]They're ok as long as they're not mine
    [ ]They're noisy, dribbling, little urchins
    [ ]Good with toast

    Have You Committed Any Past Criminal Offences?
    [ ]Yes
    [ ]No
    [ ]He deserved it!
    [ ]I got out on a technicality
    [ ]I need a place to lay low for a while

    Are You Mentally Sound?
    [ ]Yes
    [ ]No
    [ ]I have a doctor's note for you
    [ ]I'll answer when you undo my straps

    Your Literary Preferences Include (check all that apply):
    [ ]Ancient Greek Philosophy
    [ ]Shakespeare
    [ ]Any Bestseller
    [ ]Technical Books
    [ ]Fiction Novels
    [ ]Where's Waldo?
    The Kraft Dinner Box
    [ ]What Does "Literary" Mean?
    [ ]I Can Spell My Name!

    Vices

    Smoking Habits
    [ ]Non-Smoker
    [ ]Occasional Smoker
    [ ]Casual Smoker
    [ ]Heavy Smoker
    [ ]My Lungs Smoke by themselves now

    Drinking Habits
    [ ]Non-Drinker
    [ ]Social Drinker
    [ ]Heavy Drinker
    vI have to hold onto the floor
    [ ]Why else would I be filling this out?

    When I Drink, I Tend to Drink<option>Rum and Coke
    [ ]Beer
    [ ]Shots
    [ ]Body Shots
    [ ]Something Pink
    [ ]Anything, as long as it's fruity flavoured
    [ ]Rubbing Alcohol
    [ ]Does it matter?

    Recreational Drug Use: (All that apply)
    [ ]None
    [ ]Smoke Pot Occasionally
    [ ]Stoner
    [ ]Dude... Dude... you... are great! I'm Hungry
    [ ]Any Other Illegal Drugs (including cocaine, smack, crack, LSD, Speed, Heroin, "Rave" drugs and Celine Dion)

    Relationship Info

    I Am:
    [ ]Single
    [ ]Attached
    [ ]Married
    [ ]Divorced
    [ ]Widowed
    [ ]Attached to someone I'm stalking
    [ ]Married to the Sea
    [ ]Married to Jesus


    A Romantic Date Consists of:
    [ ]Walk on the beach
    [ ]Dinner and a movie
    [ ]Staying in and watching movies
    [ ]Breaking the box springs
    [ ]Staring up at the stars
    [ ]A monster truck rally
    [ ]Running from the cops
    [ ]Pretending to have Tourret's Syndrome
    [ ]Harassing my ex-boyfriend/husband

    I Am A(n)_______ Person
    [ ]Sweeter than a Lamb
    [ ]Nice
    [ ]Cheerful
    [ ]Accepting
    [ ]Head-Strong
    [ ]Cynical
    [ ]Grumpy
    [ ]Mean
    [ ]Evil
    [ ]Demonic
    [ ]I am Courtney Love! Fear me!

    You Find Out That My 3 Closest Friends Are All Model-Worthy Females, You:
    [ ]Think Nothing Of It
    [ ]Accept Them As My Friends
    [ ]Try Really Hard to Get Along
    [ ]Try To Incorporate Them Into Our Doings
    [ ]Talk Down to Them Because "girlfriend" outranks "friend"
    [ ]Try to Subvert them Out of Your Life
    [ ]Wage Full Scale War on Them
    [ ]Go Into A Jealous Rage Whenever You Mention Them
    [ ]Dump You, Ask One of Them Out

    Do You Think The Simpsons Is the Greatest Show on Earth?:
    [ ]Yes
    [ ]Hell Yes!

    My Hobbies Include:
    [ ]Writing
    [ ]Reading
    [ ]Poetry
    [ ]Watching TV
    [ ]Sports
    [ ]Games
    [ ]Working Out
    [ ]Running
    [ ]Running From People
    [ ]Harrassing the Ex (Again)
    [ ]Making Fun of People
    [ ]Calligraphy
    [ ]Phone Sex
    [ ]Replacing Bedposts due to over-notching
    [ ]Anger Management Courses
    [ ]Various Other 12-Step Programs
    [ ]Work, Work and More Work
    [ ]Trying to Take Over the WORLD!
    [ ]Other:




    My Reason For Applying is:
    [ ]I Like His Sense of Humour
    [ ]I Actually Think He's Hot
    [ ]He Has A High Postcount. I'm Attracted To The Power
    [ ]The Medication Isn't Working
    [ ]Other:



    Anything Else You'd Like To Add to His Divinely Canuckistanyness?





    Thankyou for taking the time to apply to be Anakha's girlfriend! Your details will now be picked over with a fine-tooth comb until every possible fault and personal issue you have has been scrutinized and mocked by a committee. Please allow 4 to 6 months for a reply.

    Do not leave your home during this length of time for any reason. Don't worry, if you took the time to fill this out, it's not like you have anywhere to be.

    Thankyou!
     
  2. VampiroXIII

    VampiroXIII IncGamers Member

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    Holy crap, that's a long application.
     
  3. SomeCanadianGuy

    SomeCanadianGuy IncGamers Member

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    Can I just send you my resume instead? It's in French, but I'm sure Durf would be able to help with the translation, no? :scratch:
     
  4. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

    Joined:
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    The length is just a result of having to make each option per line. It's really not that long. Plus when you're making a decision of this magnitude can you really be TOO careful?

    SCG: You're already my frenchy love-buddy. You can't move higher than that, baby. :wink2:
     
  5. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    9,706
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    I thought about applying, but I'm afraid that my, erm, equipment is a little too, uh, convex for you.
     
  6. HimuraKenshin92

    HimuraKenshin92 IncGamers Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2003
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    26
    Personal Info:

    Gender
    [X]Female
    [ ]Male
    [ ]I Don't Like to be Labelled

    Age:
    [ ]Illegal
    [X]18-22
    [ ]23-30
    [ ]I'm Wearing Adult Depends

    Where Do You Live?
    [ ]Canada
    [X]Canada - The Ottawa Region
    [ ]Anywhere Else

    Ethnicity:
    [X]Caucasian
    [ ]Black
    [ ]Hispanic
    [ ]Middle Eastern
    [ ]First Nations
    [ ]Oriental
    [ ]European
    [ ]I Come From the Planet Kaploop
    [ ]We're All Part of the Rainbow

    Religious Affiliation:
    [X]Christian
    [ ]Jewish
    [ ]Muslim
    [ ]Hindu
    [ ]Buddhist
    [ ]Agnostic/Atheist
    [ ]Other
    [ ]I am the leader of a secular cult
    [ ]I worship the Little People
    [ ]I believe I AM Jesus

    Hair Colour
    [X]Brown
    [ ]Black
    [ ]Blonde
    [ ]Red
    [ ]White/Grey
    [ ]Radioactive Koolaid coloured
    [ ]I am follicly challenged

    Hair Length:
    [ ]I step on it frequently
    [ ]I can tuck it into my pants
    [X]Long
    [ ]Shoulder Length
    [ ]Neck Length
    [ ]Short
    [ ]I look like Patrick Stewart

    Eye Colour:
    [ ]Blue
    [ ]Brown
    [ ]Green
    [X]Hazel
    [ ]Yellow
    [ ]Slits like a cat
    [ ]Glowing Red
    [ ]Glass
    [ ]Can change it at will

    Height:
    [ ]Midget
    [ ]Dwarf
    [ ]5'0-5'3"
    [X]5'4"-5'7"
    [ ]5'8"-5'11"
    [ ]6'0"-6'3"
    [ ]Giant
    [ ]I Climb the Empire State Building

    Weight:
    [ ]I avoid drafts and cracks in the floor
    [X]Slim
    [ ]Athletic
    [ ]Average
    [ ]Bigger
    [ ]Butch
    [ ]I ate Louie Anderson
    [ ]I'm just going to lie anyways

    My Style Most Resembles
    [ ]Catherine Zeta Jones: Classy and Beautiful
    [ ]Julia Roberts: Desired By All but is Death for Relationships
    [ ]Pamela Anderson: Enough Said
    [X]Reese Witherspoon: Fun-Loving and a Great Sense of Humour
    [ ]Angelina Jolie: Scary-Hot and Gets Into Trouble
    [ ]Rosie O'Donnel: Thinks She Knows What's Best For Everyone
    [ ]Roseanne Arnold: Just Die Already
    [ ]I Do Not Resemble Other Humans

    I Frequently Wear (Check all that apply)
    [ ]Glasses
    [ ]Contacts
    [ ]A Bandana
    [X]A Hat
    [ ]A Giant Hat
    [ ]A Feather Boa
    [ ]Mr. T Style Jewellery
    [ ]My Wedding Ring
    [ ]An Oversized Foam-Rubber Hand
    [ ]The Pelts of Past Boyfriends
    [ ]A Shirt Thats Says "I'm with stupid
    [ ]Nothing At All
    [ ]My Heart on My Sleeve
    [ ]A Trophy Heart Around My Neck
    [ ]Other:




    Aspirations

    Highest Level Of Education Completed
    [ ]Home Schooled
    [ ]I'm a product of Bush's education "programs"
    [ ]I learned on the streets
    [ ]I kicked *** at toy time
    [ ]After grade 8 I was all like "screw this ****"
    [ ]Currently in highschool
    [ ]Highschool graduate
    [ ]In College
    [ ]College Graduate
    [ ]In University
    [ ]I have an Undergraduate
    [X]I have a Masters
    [ ]I have a Doctorate
    [ ]Steven Hawking ain't got nothin' on me
    [ ]Future Ruler of the Universe
    [ ]I'm smarter than you

    In Post-Secondary You Major(ed) In
    [ ]Nothing
    [ ]Undecided
    [X]Arts
    [ ]Social Science
    [ ]Engineering
    [ ]English
    [ ]Getting Smashed
    [ ]Stuffing cheese into your mouth

    Current Employment
    [ ]Unemployed
    [ ]Wait... Thet give money for NOT working??
    [ ]Looking for work
    [ ]Social Work
    [ ]Public Service (Including Government)
    [ ]Cubicle Job
    [ ]Physically Intensive
    [X]Model
    [ ]Drug Peddler
    [ ]Illegal Immigrant


    Do you Have Any Career Aspirations
    [X]Yes
    [ ]No
    [ ]There are people who don't?
    [ ]I'm living off the government tip!
    [ ]"Would you like fries with that?"


    If so, what are they?



    Your thoughts on children?
    [ ]They're Adorable
    [ ]They're Cute
    [X]They're ok as long as they're mine
    [ ]They're ok as long as they're not mine
    [ ]They're noisy, dribbling, little urchins
    [ ]Good with toast

    Have You Committed Any Past Criminal Offences?
    [ ]Yes
    [X]No
    [ ]He deserved it!
    [ ]I got out on a technicality
    [ ]I need a place to lay low for a while

    Are You Mentally Sound?
    [X]Yes
    [ ]No
    [ ]I have a doctor's note for you
    [ ]I'll answer when you undo my straps

    Your Literary Preferences Include (check all that apply):
    [ ]Ancient Greek Philosophy
    [ ]Shakespeare
    [X]Any Bestseller
    [ ]Technical Books
    [X]Fiction Novels
    [ ]Where's Waldo?
    The Kraft Dinner Box
    [ ]What Does "Literary" Mean?
    [ ]I Can Spell My Name!

    Vices

    Smoking Habits
    [X]Non-Smoker
    [ ]Occasional Smoker
    [ ]Casual Smoker
    [ ]Heavy Smoker
    [ ]My Lungs Smoke by themselves now

    Drinking Habits
    [ ]Non-Drinker
    [X]Social Drinker
    [ ]Heavy Drinker
    [ ]have to hold onto the floor
    [ ]Why else would I be filling this out?

    When I Drink, I Tend to Drink<option>Rum and Coke
    [X]Beer
    [ ]Shots
    [ ]Body Shots
    [ ]Something Pink
    [ ]Anything, as long as it's fruity flavoured
    [ ]Rubbing Alcohol
    [ ]Does it matter?

    Recreational Drug Use: (All that apply)
    [X]None
    [ ]Smoke Pot Occasionally
    [ ]Stoner
    [ ]Dude... Dude... you... are great! I'm Hungry
    [ ]Any Other Illegal Drugs (including cocaine, smack, crack, LSD, Speed, Heroin, "Rave" drugs and Celine Dion)

    Relationship Info

    I Am:
    [X]Single
    [ ]Attached
    [ ]Married
    [ ]Divorced
    [ ]Widowed
    [ ]Attached to someone I'm stalking
    [ ]Married to the Sea
    [ ]Married to Jesus


    A Romantic Date Consists of:
    [ ]Walk on the beach
    [ ]Dinner and a movie
    [X]Staying in and watching movies
    [ ]Breaking the box springs
    [ ]Staring up at the stars
    [ ]A monster truck rally
    [ ]Running from the cops
    [ ]Pretending to have Tourret's Syndrome
    [ ]Harassing my ex-boyfriend/husband

    I Am A(n)_______ Person
    [ ]Sweeter than a Lamb
    [ ]Nice
    [X]Cheerful
    [ ]Accepting
    [ ]Head-Strong
    [ ]Cynical
    [ ]Grumpy
    [ ]Mean
    [ ]Evil
    [ ]Demonic
    [ ]I am Courtney Love! Fear me!

    You Find Out That My 3 Closest Friends Are All Model-Worthy Females, You:
    [ ]Think Nothing Of It
    [X]Accept Them As My Friends
    [ ]Try Really Hard to Get Along
    [ ]Try To Incorporate Them Into Our Doings
    [ ]Talk Down to Them Because "girlfriend" outranks "friend"
    [ ]Try to Subvert them Out of Your Life
    [ ]Wage Full Scale War on Them
    [ ]Go Into A Jealous Rage Whenever You Mention Them
    [ ]Dump You, Ask One of Them Out

    Do You Think The Simpsons Is the Greatest Show on Earth?:
    [ ]Yes
    [X]Hell Yes!

    My Hobbies Include:
    [ ]Writing
    [ ]Reading
    [ ]Poetry
    [X]Watching TV
    [ ]Sports
    [X]Games
    [ ]Working Out
    [ ]Running
    [ ]Running From People
    [ ]Harrassing the Ex (Again)
    [ ]Making Fun of People
    [ ]Calligraphy
    [ ]Phone Sex
    [ ]Replacing Bedposts due to over-notching
    [ ]Anger Management Courses
    [ ]Various Other 12-Step Programs
    [ ]Work, Work and More Work
    [ ]Trying to Take Over the WORLD!
    [ ]Other:




    My Reason For Applying is:
    [ ]I Like His Sense of Humour
    [ ]I Actually Think He's Hot
    [ ]He Has A High Postcount. I'm Attracted To The Power
    [ ]The Medication Isn't Working
    [X]Other: Bored as hell


    I just filled out this application that would match my perfect woman.
     
  7. My_Immortal6

    My_Immortal6 IncGamers Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2003
    Messages:
    2,443
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    165
    Ok here's all my answers.

    Question 1: Male

    Question 2: 18 - 22

    Question 3: Anywhere else

    Question 4: Caucasion

    Question 5: Agnostic/Athiest

    Question 6: Black

    Question 7: Shoulder Length

    Question 8: Blue

    Question 9: 5'8 - 5'11

    Question 10: Slim

    Question 11: *is boycotting options and saying Amy Lee*

    Question 12: Glasses, Heart on sleave

    Question 13: High School Graduate

    Question 14: Nothing yet

    Question 15: I work in a convenience store, so cubicle job. I think.

    Question 16: Yes. Professional musician.

    Question 17: They're cute.

    Question 18: No.

    Question 19: I have a doctor's note for you.

    Question 20: Fiction Novels

    Question 21: Non-smoker

    Question 22: Heavy drinker

    Question 23: Beer, Bourbon and coke.

    Question 24: None.

    Question 25: Single

    Question 26: dinner and a movie or staying in and watching movies.

    Question 27: I am all of those except courtney love.

    Question 28: Accept them as my friends

    Question 29: Hell Yes

    Question 30: Reading, poetry, games, music, tv, films.

    Question 31: The medication isn't working.
     
  8. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    21,802
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    467
    Personal Info:

    Gender
    [ ]Female
    [ ]Male
    [x]I Don't Like to be Labelled

    Age:
    [ ]Illegal
    [x]18-22
    [ ]23-30
    [ ]I'm Wearing Adult Depends

    Where Do You Live?
    [ ]Canada
    [ ]Canada - The Ottawa Region
    [x]Anywhere Else

    Ethnicity:
    [ ]Caucasian
    [ ]Black
    [x]Hispanic
    [ ]Middle Eastern
    [ ]First Nations
    [ ]Oriental
    [ ]European
    [ ]I Come From the Planet Kaploop
    [ ]We're All Part of the Rainbow

    Religious Affiliation:
    [x]Christian
    [ ]Jewish
    [ ]Muslim
    [ ]Hindu
    [ ]Buddhist
    [ ]Agnostic/Atheist
    [ ]Other
    [ ]I am the leader of a secular cult
    [ ]I worship the Little People
    [ ]I believe I AM Jesus

    Hair Colour
    [ ]Brown
    [x]Black
    [ ]Blonde
    [ ]Red
    [ ]White/Grey
    [ ]Radioactive Koolaid coloured
    [ ]I am follicly challenged

    Hair Length:
    [ ]I step on it frequently
    [ ]I can tuck it into my pants
    [ ]Long
    [ ]Shoulder Length
    [ ]Neck Length
    [x]Short
    [ ]I look like Patrick Stewart

    Eye Colour:
    [ ]Blue
    [ ]Brown
    [ ]Green
    [ ]Hazel
    [ ]Yellow
    [ ]Slits like a cat
    [x]Glowing Red
    [ ]Glass
    [ ]Can change it at will

    Height:
    [ ]Midget
    [ ]Dwarf
    [ ]5'0-5'3"
    [ ]5'4"-5'7"
    [x]5'8"-5'11"
    [ ]6'0"-6'3"
    [ ]Giant
    [ ]I Climb the Empire State Building

    Weight:
    [ ]I avoid drafts and cracks in the floor
    [ ]Slim
    [ ]Athletic
    [x]Average
    [ ]Bigger
    [ ]Butch
    [ ]I ate Louie Anderson
    [ ]I'm just going to lie anyways

    My Style Most Resembles
    [ ]Catherine Zeta Jones: Classy and Beautiful
    [ ]Julia Roberts: Desired By All but is Death for Relationships
    [ ]Pamela Anderson: Enough Said
    [ ]Reese Witherspoon: Fun-Loving and a Great Sense of Humour
    [ ]Angelina Jolie: Scary-Hot and Gets Into Trouble
    [ ]Rosie O'Donnel: Thinks She Knows What's Best For Everyone
    [ ]Roseanne Arnold: Just Die Already
    [x]I Do Not Resemble Other Humans

    I Frequently Wear (Check all that apply)
    [x]Glasses
    [x]Contacts
    [ ]A Bandana
    [ ]A Hat
    [x]A Giant Hat
    [x]A Feather Boa
    [x]Mr. T Style Jewellery
    [ ]My Wedding Ring
    [ ]An Oversized Foam-Rubber Hand
    [ ]The Pelts of Past Boyfriends
    [ ]A Shirt Thats Says "I'm with stupid
    [ ]Nothing At All
    [ ]My Heart on My Sleeve
    [ ]A Trophy Heart Around My Neck
    [ ]Other:




    Aspirations

    Highest Level Of Education Completed
    [ ]Home Schooled
    [ ]I'm a product of Bush's education "programs"
    [ ]I learned on the streets
    [ ]I kicked *** at toy time
    [ ]After grade 8 I was all like "screw this ****"
    [ ]Currently in highschool
    [ ]Highschool graduate
    [x]In College
    [ ]College Graduate
    [ ]In University
    [ ]I have an Undergraduate
    [ ]I have a Masters
    [ ]I have a Doctorate
    [ ]Steven Hawking ain't got nothin' on me
    [x]Future Ruler of the Universe
    [x]I'm smarter than you

    In Post-Secondary You Major(ed) In
    [ ]Nothing
    [ ]Undecided
    [ ]Arts
    [x]Social Science
    [ ]Engineering
    [ ]English
    [ ]Getting Smashed
    [ ]Stuffing cheese into your mouth

    Current Employment
    [ ]Unemployed
    [x]Wait... Thet give money for NOT working??
    [ ]Looking for work
    [ ]Social Work
    [ ]Public Service (Including Government)
    [ ]Cubicle Job
    [ ]Physically Intensive
    [x]Model
    [ ]Drug Peddler
    [x]Illegal Immigrant


    Do you Have Any Career Aspirations
    [ ]Yes
    [x]No
    [ ]There are people who don't?
    [ ]I'm living off the government tip!
    [ ]"Would you like fries with that?"


    If so, what are they?



    Your thoughts on children?
    [x]They're Adorable
    [ ]They're Cute
    [ ]They're ok as long as they're mine
    [ ]They're ok as long as they're not mine
    [ ]They're noisy, dribbling, little urchins
    [ ]Good with toast

    Have You Committed Any Past Criminal Offences?
    [ ]Yes
    [ ]No
    [x]He deserved it!
    [ ]I got out on a technicality
    [ ]I need a place to lay low for a while

    Are You Mentally Sound?
    [ ]Yes
    [ ]No
    [x]I have a doctor's note for you
    [ ]I'll answer when you undo my straps

    Your Literary Preferences Include (check all that apply):
    [x]Ancient Greek Philosophy
    [x]Shakespeare
    [ ]Any Bestseller
    [ ]Technical Books
    [x]Fiction Novels
    [ ]Where's Waldo?
    The Kraft Dinner Box
    [ ]What Does "Literary" Mean?
    [x]I Can Spell My Name!

    Vices

    Smoking Habits
    [x]Non-Smoker
    [ ]Occasional Smoker
    [ ]Casual Smoker
    [ ]Heavy Smoker
    [ ]My Lungs Smoke by themselves now

    Drinking Habits
    [ ]Non-Drinker
    [ ]Social Drinker
    [ ]Heavy Drinker
    vI have to hold onto the floor
    [x]Why else would I be filling this out?

    When I Drink, I Tend to Drink<option>Rum and Coke
    [ ]Beer
    [ ]Shots
    [ ]Body Shots
    [ ]Something Pink
    [ ]Anything, as long as it's fruity flavoured
    [ ]Rubbing Alcohol
    [x]Does it matter?

    Recreational Drug Use: (All that apply)
    [x]None
    [ ]Smoke Pot Occasionally
    [ ]Stoner
    [ ]Dude... Dude... you... are great! I'm Hungry
    [ ]Any Other Illegal Drugs (including cocaine, smack, crack, LSD, Speed, Heroin, "Rave" drugs and Celine Dion)

    Relationship Info

    I Am:
    [ ]Single
    [ ]Attached
    [ ]Married
    [ ]Divorced
    [ ]Widowed
    [ ]Attached to someone I'm stalking
    [x]Married to the Sea
    [ ]Married to Jesus


    A Romantic Date Consists of:
    [ ]Walk on the beach
    [ ]Dinner and a movie
    [ ]Staying in and watching movies
    [ ]Breaking the box springs
    [ ]Staring up at the stars
    [ ]A monster truck rally
    [x]Running from the cops
    [ ]Pretending to have Tourret's Syndrome
    [ ]Harassing my ex-boyfriend/husband

    I Am A(n)_______ Person
    [ ]Sweeter than a Lamb
    [ ]Nice
    [ ]Cheerful
    [ ]Accepting
    [ ]Head-Strong
    [x]Cynical
    [x]Grumpy
    [x]Mean
    [x]Evil
    [x]Demonic
    [ ]I am Courtney Love! Fear me!

    You Find Out That My 3 Closest Friends Are All Model-Worthy Females, You:
    [ ]Think Nothing Of It
    [ ]Accept Them As My Friends
    [ ]Try Really Hard to Get Along
    [ ]Try To Incorporate Them Into Our Doings
    [ ]Talk Down to Them Because "girlfriend" outranks "friend"
    [ ]Try to Subvert them Out of Your Life
    [ ]Wage Full Scale War on Them
    [ ]Go Into A Jealous Rage Whenever You Mention Them
    [x]Dump You, Ask One of Them Out

    Do You Think The Simpsons Is the Greatest Show on Earth?:
    [x]Yes
    [ ]Hell Yes!

    My Hobbies Include:
    [ ]Writing
    [x]Reading
    [ ]Poetry
    [x]Watching TV
    [x]Sports
    [x]Games
    [ ]Working Out
    [ ]Running
    [x]Running From People
    [ ]Harrassing the Ex (Again)
    [xxxx]Making Fun of People
    [ ]Calligraphy
    [ ]Phone Sex
    [ ]Replacing Bedposts due to over-notching
    [ ]Anger Management Courses
    [ ]Various Other 12-Step Programs
    [ ]Work, Work and More Work
    [ ]Trying to Take Over the WORLD!
    [x]Other:
    SLEEPING



    My Reason For Applying is:
    [ ]I Like His Sense of Humour
    [ ]I Actually Think He's Hot
    [xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]He Has A High Postcount. I'm Attracted To The Power
    [ ]The Medication Isn't Working
    [ ]Other:



    Anything Else You'd Like To Add to His Divinely Canuckistanyness?

    who?
     
  9. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    You know, techinically having the option of 'Male' on a girlfriend application kind of defeats the purpose. I just didn't want anyone to feel left out. :teeth:
     
  10. Technetium

    Technetium IncGamers Member

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    This seems like as good a thread as any to mention that I can no longer claim 90+% on those purity tests. In fact, I probably lost about 20% this weekend.

    I feel like I could never be in a bad mood again, ever.
     
  11. DurfBarian

    DurfBarian IncGamers Member

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    So . . . you're saying you're now a crack dealer who's high on life?
     
  12. VampiroXIII

    VampiroXIII IncGamers Member

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    I was going to say, 18-22 and you have a Masters Degree already? Possible, however, highly unlikely.
     
  13. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    Good job! Sounds like a letter to Penthouse in the making! :thumbsup:

    Now quite hijacking my thread! *smacks Tech with a large trout* I'm trying to find a wife, here!
     
  14. Canadia142

    Canadia142 Banned

    Joined:
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    Personal Info:

    Gender
    [ ]Female
    [ ]Male
    [X]I Don't Like to be Labelled

    Age:
    [X ]Illegal
    [ ]18-22
    [ ]23-30
    [ ]I'm Wearing Adult Depends

    Where Do You Live?
    [ ]Canada
    [ ]Canada - The Ottawa Region
    [X ]Anywhere Else

    Ethnicity:
    [X ]Caucasian
    [ ]Black
    [ ]Hispanic
    [ ]Middle Eastern
    [ ]First Nations
    [ ]Oriental
    [ ]European
    [ ]I Come From the Planet Kaploop
    [ ]We're All Part of the Rainbow

    Religious Affiliation:
    [X]Christian this doesn't have to come between us baby
    [ ]Jewish
    [ ]Muslim
    [ ]Hindu
    [ ]Buddhist
    [ ]Agnostic/Atheist
    [ ]Other
    [ ]I am the leader of a secular cult
    [ ]I worship the Little People
    [ ]I believe I AM Jesus

    Hair Colour
    [X ]Brown
    [ ]Black
    [ ]Blonde
    [ ]Red
    [ ]White/Grey
    [ ]Radioactive Koolaid coloured
    [ ]I am follicly challenged

    Hair Length:
    [ ]I step on it frequently
    [ ]I can tuck it into my pants
    [ ]Long
    [ ]Shoulder Length
    [ ]Neck Length
    [X]Short
    [ ]I look like Patrick Stewart

    Eye Colour:
    [X]Blue
    [ ]Brown
    [ ]Green
    [ ]Hazel
    [ ]Yellow
    [ ]Slits like a cat
    [ ]Glowing Red
    [ ]Glass
    [ ]Can change it at will

    Height:
    [ ]Midget
    [ ]Dwarf
    [ ]5'0-5'3"
    [ ]5'4"-5'7"
    [X]5'8"-5'11"
    [ ]6'0"-6'3"
    [ ]Giant
    [ ]I Climb the Empire State Building

    Weight:
    [ ]I avoid drafts and cracks in the floor
    [ ]Slim
    [ ]Athletic
    [X]Average
    [ ]Bigger
    [ ]Butch
    [ ]I ate Louie Anderson
    [ ]I'm just going to lie anyways

    My Style Most Resembles
    [ ]Catherine Zeta Jones: Classy and Beautiful
    [ ]Julia Roberts: Desired By All but is Death for Relationships
    [X]Pamela Anderson: Enough Said
    [ ]Reese Witherspoon: Fun-Loving and a Great Sense of Humour
    [ ]Angelina Jolie: Scary-Hot and Gets Into Trouble
    [ ]Rosie O'Donnel: Thinks She Knows What's Best For Everyone
    [ ]Roseanne Arnold: Just Die Already
    [ ]I Do Not Resemble Other Humans

    I Frequently Wear (Check all that apply)
    [ ]Glasses
    [ ]Contacts
    [ ]A Bandana
    [X]A Hat
    [ ]A Giant Hat
    [ ]A Feather Boa
    [ ]Mr. T Style Jewellery
    [ ]My Wedding Ring
    [ ]An Oversized Foam-Rubber Hand
    [ ]The Pelts of Past Boyfriends
    [ ]A Shirt Thats Says "I'm with stupid
    [ ]Nothing At All
    [ ]My Heart on My Sleeve
    [ ]A Trophy Heart Around My Neck
    [ ]Other:




    Aspirations

    Highest Level Of Education Completed
    [ ]Home Schooled
    [ ]I'm a product of Bush's education "programs"
    [ ]I learned on the streets
    [ ]I kicked *** at toy time
    [ ]After grade 8 I was all like "screw this ****"
    [X]Currently in highschool
    [ ]Highschool graduate
    [ ]In College
    [ ]College Graduate
    [ ]In University
    [ ]I have an Undergraduate
    [ ]I have a Masters
    [ ]I have a Doctorate
    [ ]Steven Hawking ain't got nothin' on me
    [ ]Future Ruler of the Universe
    [ ]I'm smarter than you

    In Post-Secondary You Major(ed) In
    [X]Nothing
    [ ]Undecided
    [ ]Arts
    [ ]Social Science
    [ ]Engineering
    [ ]English
    [ ]Getting Smashed
    [ ]Stuffing cheese into your mouth

    Current Employment
    [ ]Unemployed
    [X]Wait... Thet give money for NOT working??
    [ ]Looking for work
    [ ]Social Work
    [ ]Public Service (Including Government)
    [ ]Cubicle Job
    [ ]Physically Intensive
    [ ]Model
    [ ]Drug Peddler
    [ ]Illegal Immigrant


    Do you Have Any Career Aspirations
    []Yes
    [ ]No
    [ ]There are people who don't?
    [X]I'm living off the government tip!
    [ ]"Would you like fries with that?"


    If so, what are they?



    Your thoughts on children?
    [ ]They're Adorable
    [ ]They're Cute
    [X]They're ok as long as they're mine
    [ ]They're ok as long as they're not mine
    [ ]They're noisy, dribbling, little urchins
    [ ]Good with toast

    Have You Committed Any Past Criminal Offences?
    [ ]Yes
    [X]No
    [ ]He deserved it!
    [ ]I got out on a technicality
    [ ]I need a place to lay low for a while

    Are You Mentally Sound?
    [X]Yes
    [ ]No
    [ ]I have a doctor's note for you
    [ ]I'll answer when you undo my straps

    Your Literary Preferences Include (check all that apply):
    [ ]Ancient Greek Philosophy
    [ ]Shakespeare
    [ ]Any Bestseller
    [ ]Technical Books
    [X]Fiction Novels
    [ ]Where's Waldo?
    The Kraft Dinner Box
    [ ]What Does "Literary" Mean?
    [ ]I Can Spell My Name!

    Vices

    Smoking Habits
    [X]Non-Smoker
    [ ]Occasional Smoker
    [ ]Casual Smoker
    [ ]Heavy Smoker
    [ ]My Lungs Smoke by themselves now

    Drinking Habits
    [X]Non-Drinker
    [ ]Social Drinker
    [ ]Heavy Drinker
    vI have to hold onto the floor
    [ ]Why else would I be filling this out?

    When I Drink, I Tend to Drink<option>Rum and Coke
    [ ]Beer
    [ ]Shots
    [ ]Body Shots
    [ ]Something Pink
    [ ]Anything, as long as it's fruity flavoured
    [ ]Rubbing Alcohol
    [X]Does it matter?

    Recreational Drug Use: (All that apply)
    [X]None
    [ ]Smoke Pot Occasionally
    [ ]Stoner
    [ ]Dude... Dude... you... are great! I'm Hungry
    [ ]Any Other Illegal Drugs (including cocaine, smack, crack, LSD, Speed, Heroin, "Rave" drugs and Celine Dion)

    Relationship Info

    I Am:
    [X]Single
    [ ]Attached
    [ ]Married
    [ ]Divorced
    [ ]Widowed
    [ ]Attached to someone I'm stalking
    [ ]Married to the Sea
    [ ]Married to Jesus


    A Romantic Date Consists of:
    [ ]Walk on the beach
    [ ]Dinner and a movie
    [ ]Staying in and watching movies
    [X]Breaking the box springs
    [ ]Staring up at the stars
    [ ]A monster truck rally
    [ ]Running from the cops
    [ ]Pretending to have Tourret's Syndrome
    [ ]Harassing my ex-boyfriend/husband

    I Am A(n)_______ Person
    [ ]Sweeter than a Lamb
    [ ]Nice
    [X]Cheerful
    [ ]Accepting
    [ ]Head-Strong
    [ ]Cynical
    [ ]Grumpy
    [ ]Mean
    [ ]Evil
    [ ]Demonic
    [ ]I am Courtney Love! Fear me!

    You Find Out That My 3 Closest Friends Are All Model-Worthy Females, You:
    [ ]Think Nothing Of It
    [ ]Accept Them As My Friends
    [ ]Try Really Hard to Get Along
    [ ]Try To Incorporate Them Into Our Doings
    [ ]Talk Down to Them Because "girlfriend" outranks "friend"
    [ ]Try to Subvert them Out of Your Life
    [ ]Wage Full Scale War on Them
    [ ]Go Into A Jealous Rage Whenever You Mention Them
    [X]Dump You, Ask One of Them Out

    Do You Think The Simpsons Is the Greatest Show on Earth?:
    [X]Yes
    [ ]Hell Yes!

    My Hobbies Include:
    [ ]Writing
    [ ]Reading
    [ ]Poetry
    [X]Watching TV
    [ ]Sports
    [X]Games
    [ ]Working Out
    [ ]Running
    [ ]Running From People
    [ ]Harrassing the Ex (Again)
    [X]Making Fun of People
    [ ]Calligraphy
    [ ]Phone Sex
    [ ]Replacing Bedposts due to over-notching
    [ ]Anger Management Courses
    [ ]Various Other 12-Step Programs
    [ ]Work, Work and More Work
    [ ]Trying to Take Over the WORLD!
    [ ]Other:




    My Reason For Applying is:
    [ ]I Like His Sense of Humour
    [ ]I Actually Think He's Hot
    [X]He Has A High Postcount. I'm Attracted To The Power
    [ ]The Medication Isn't Working
    [ ]Other:



    Anything Else You'd Like To Add to His Divinely Canuckistanyness?

    I want you so bad baby
     
  15. sunbearie

    sunbearie IncGamers Member

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    I find it utterly depressing that a large number of applicants are male.
     
  16. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    You think YOU find it depressing??? :bonk:

    *sigh* I wish Zeppy were here. SHE'D apply...
     
  17. My_Immortal6

    My_Immortal6 IncGamers Member

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    You didn't complain last night. *crosses legs and pouts*
     
  18. Anakha1

    Anakha1 Banned

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    Well it would have been a lot more romantic if you had at least stopped eating that chicken wing during it. AND if you hadn't kept calling me Durf.
     
  19. Ash Housewares

    Ash Housewares IncGamers Member

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    I agree, that really spoiled the mood, Durf was only even there for about 10 minutes
     
  20. My_Immortal6

    My_Immortal6 IncGamers Member

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    You're the one who wanted me to eat the chicken wing. And I can't help it if I get all my lover's names confused. I'll call you whatever you want tonight... :love:
     

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