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Anti-Homosexual group things gays are recruiting, uses Onion article for proof

A school board trustee is demanding an apology from a parents' group that used a fake photo from a satirical newspaper on its pamphlets opposing the expansion of a safe schools policy. Simply Truths Our Priority, or STOP, handed out pamphlets and computer discs with a 300-page book of Internet research outside a public meeting last week.

The session was a chance for the Thames Valley District school board to get input on its plan to expand the safe schools program -- a move to protect *** and lesbian students.

But STOP argues the board is changing the curriculum and will promote a homosexual lifestyle in schools.

"Satire is apparently lost on rigid individuals," said London trustee Peter Jaffe. "Taking something from a spoof newspaper and presenting it as reality crosses the line. (The photo) plays on people's worst fears. I would hope this group will make a full and public apology."

The photo shows a teacher at the front of a class with explicit sexual images and terms drawn on the board and is supposed to represent one of the "countless" classrooms where homosexuality is promoted.

The picture was copied from the Onion, a satirical newspaper from the United States. The headline of the 1998 story says, " '98 homosexual drive nearing goal."

The story, written out of San Francisco, goes on to say children are being successfully recruited into homosexuality because of the "*** lobby's infiltration of America's public schools."

Marilyn Ashworth of STOP said it's concerned the photo represents what will end up in this region's schools if the board goes ahead with its plan.

"We knew it was a *** paper and we hold that even as a joke, the *** community is proud of their advancements into the safe schools program in the U.S.," she said. "We don't think homosexuality in schools is a joke."

Asked whether she believed it was a real photo, Ashworth said the caption included the teacher's name, city, state and grade.

"We researched in depth and that was one of the things we found," she said, noting the group spent seven weeks accumulating research.

"We don't come by our findings lightly. . . . Whether it was meant to be a joke or not, it's not funny to parents who are trying to protect their children."

Other headlines on the archival page are: Antique dealer sick of appraising smurf collections and Orgy a logistical nightmare.

Sean Mills, president of the Onion, laughed when he heard the news.

"The motto the writers have is we're not going after the right or the left, we're just going after people who are dumb," Mills said.

"We're anti-dumb, we're not anti-anything else . . . They're proving our point. It's a ridiculous notion there'd be recruitment going on. That was the whole point."

Mills said the photo is fake, the Onion has nothing to do with STOP and isn't a *** paper.

"In some ways, if you're going to a satirical news source to prove a serious point . . . you're getting what you deserve."

Trustee Peggy Sattler said she wonders if STOP knew it was a fake photo.

Trustee Linda Stevenson said the photo calls into question the legitimacy of STOP's 300 pages.

"It's not worth the paper it's written on."
http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/LondonFreePress/News/2004/04/08/412787.html


Here's the Onion Article they're quoting:

SAN FRANCISCO—Spokespersons for the National *** & Lesbian Recruitment Task Force announced Monday that more than 288,000 straights have been converted to homosexuality since Jan. 1, 1998, putting the group well on pace to reach its goal of 350,000 conversions by the end of the year.


"Thanks to the tireless efforts of our missionaries nationwide, in the first seven months of 1998, nearly 300,000 heterosexuals were ensnared in the Pink Triangle," said NGLRTF co-director Patricia Emmonds. "Clearly, the activist homosexual lobby is winning."

Emmonds credited much of the recruiting success to the *** lobby's infiltration of America's public schools, where programs promoting the homosexual lifestyle are regularly presented to children as young as 5.

"It's crucial that we reach these kids while they're still young," Emmonds said. "That's when they're most vulnerable to our message of sexual promiscuity and deviance."

"When I grow up, I want to be ***," said Christopher Linn, 8, a second-grader at Philadelphia's Lakeside Elementary School, one of thousands of public schools nationwide that actively promote the homosexual agenda. "I don't want to have a family or go to church."


Above: Lansing, MI, fifth-grade teacher Margaret Gerhardt. Gerhardt's is one of countless elementary-school classes across the U.S. in which the homosexual agenda and lifestyle are actively promoted.
"Straight people don't have any fun," said Teddy Nance, 11, after watching Breeders Are Boring!, an anti-heterosexual filmstrip, in his fifth-grade class at Crestwood Elementary School in Roanoke, VA. "*** people get to do whatever they want."

In addition to school programs that target youths, the NGLRTF launched a $630 million advertising campaign this year in an effort to convert adults to homosexuality. The campaign, which features TV and radio spots, as well as print advertising in major national magazines, has helped convince thousands of people to leave their spouses and families for a life of self-gratification and irresponsibility.

"The *** lifestyle is for me," said James Miller, an Oklahoma City father of four who recently moved to Provincetown, MA, to pursue a career in bath-house management. "When I was a family man, I constantly had to worry about things like taking the kids to Little League practice, paying for their braces, and remembering my wife's birthday. But now that I'm ***, I'm finally free to focus all my energy on having non-stop, mind-blowing anal sex."

Though Emmonds said gays have been tremendously successful in tearing at the fabric of society and subverting basic decency, she stressed that their work is far from over.

"For all the progress we've made, America is still overwhelmingly heterosexual," said Emmonds, who is calling for an additional $2.6 billion in federal aid to further the *** agenda. "If we are to insidiously penetrate American society, as we constantly do each other's orifices, we need more money and resources. Without such help, this country will remain the domain of decent, moral, God-fearing Christians. And that would be a sin."
http://www.theonion.com/onion3326/homosexualrecruit.html

Could these people get any dumber? Not just the whole using a completely satirical newspaper for a reference and then being totally clueless when told what it really is, but just thinking that homosexuals want to recruit, as if it were some sort of terrorist organization. What a bunch of twits.
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