Another Liam problem..

[zodiac66]

Another Liam problem..

This is a problem, but a good one if you think about it.

Most of you know about all the problems he had at his last school. After putting him in a new school, he has become Mr. Popularity. He has two good friends who are competing for his friendship. Liam asked my advice, which gave me a heart attack, about the situation. He really likes the two boys and doesn't want to pick sides.

The one boy, Joe, is having an end of the year party next Saturday. The whole class is invited except for Kevin, Liam's other buddy. Joe and Kevin are fueding because Liam goes over to Kevin's house more often. He only does that because Kevin invites him.

So, Liam has a huge dilemma. He wants to go to Joe's party and be with his class but yet, he doesn't like the fact that Kevin wasn't invited.

I told him to remember when he was not popular and made fun of. I told him that is the way Kevin feels right now. I told him if he didn't want to go to the party, I would take him and Kevin golfing on Saturday. I also told him that the best solution would be for them to sit down and just talk about it.

You know, in some odd way, this situation makes me happy. Last year Liam battled a depression due to the kids in his class. This year, a new school, new classmates has made such a huge difference in him.

So, if Liam were your child, what would you advise him to do? Kevin is a sweet boy and I really like his parents. Kevin showed up at Liam's birthday party whereas Joe didn't. I like Joe's mom, and perhaps she doesn't know of what is going on. Should I give her a call and let her know? I really don't know what would be the best solution. Both boys are nice and they are fighting over Liam's friendship. I think they all just need to sit down and realize that there is enough frienship to go around and to stop this silly bickering.

 

[Necrolestes]

Best of both worlds.

I think you have a pretty good handle on things as they are. If you decide to call the parents of either friend, make sure to be completely honest (too many times I have seen a parent dance around a situation that they are uncomfortable with or worse, make something up, be it a lie or a half-truth, just to sound good; that only makes matters muddled at best and worse at worst).

Liam seems very mature for his age (he knows enough to ask for help when he needs it; I seem to recall that at his age that I never asked for help when I needed it and found less mature ways of dealing with my problems) and I think he has a good handle on things too. He recognizes that both of his friends don't like each other and that is causing him some grief. He also wants to rectify the situation using the most mature and fair way possible. He has the makings of a fine diplomat: willing to compromise yet able to stand up for what he believes in.

 

[Steve_Kow]

edit: Sometimes I should just keep my mouth shut.

 

[AeroJonesy]

Can't all three of them ever hang out together?

 

[Damotta]

I remember having a problem like this when I was young.
If I were Liam, I would simply make it known to both of the friends that I'd be spending time with both of them and would try not to give preference to one over the other. However, I dont know the exact situation or how the friends would react to this news, so if they were the types to throw a fit over it and not be your friend anymore then perhaps I would avoid telling them, yet still try to hang out with them both. Either that or if one of them was too fussy about Liam being friends with the other one, maybe he should let that friend go. Why hang out with someone who's so uptight?

But of course, there's the possibility that none of these solutions will work. Kids can be real particular sometimes, and dont always have the best judgement. It may end up with one of the kids being Liam's friend and the other hating him for being the other kid's friend but what can ya do? Kids are kids.

 

[Eff]

Can't all three of them ever hang out together?

read the post mang, it's not always that simple.

what do you want to happen as a result of calling the parents of the kids? that could turn out as the kids taking crap from their parents about it and getting mad at Liam.
maybe the one person they need to hear from is Liam.that is, if he explains to them that their bickering over something so stupid keeps the friendship unbalanced, or tells them that he's not looking to pick any side, and would be much happier to have two good friends who can at least try to get along. This doesn't mean they all have to hang out,but just being friendly could cut out all the jealousy and games.

 

[itsPizzarific]

i would first try to work things out with joe and his parents. it sounds like joe just doesnt like kevin, but kevin doesnt have anything against joe. if joe doesnt change his mind, go golfing with kevin.

maybe i'm just on kevin's side since i'm kevin.

=o

 

[jimmyboy]

It's time for Liam to stand up and assume his leadership role. Liam needs to tell the other two that he wants all three to be friends. If one refuses, then that one that refuses needs to be push aside. That way Liam and his true friends can gang up on the dissenting voice.

Oh never mind, Liam is too young to be plotting.

 

[axeil]

Seems like you have most of this under control zodiac. If Liam talking to them and you informing the parents fail to produce any results there's something my mother did when I was having a similar situation.

Have all parties involved (i.e. the three kids and their mom/dad) sit down and just talk things out. I'm pretty sure Liam's in fifth grade, but correct me if I'm wrong. When I was in 5th grade a similar situation came up and this solved the problem or at least mitigated the hostility.

Best of luck to you both, and I'm glad to hear Liam's doing much better now that he's in his new school.

 

[Steve_Kow]

The best thing for Liam to do is spend time with whoever he wants. If one or the other has a problem with that he needs to learn how to say "Go **** yourself".

 

[Twoflower]

nothing to do whit plotting there... he wants to have both as friends, if the other 2 kids feel uncomfortable whit it, he realy has to wonder : does joe prefer "not-seeing-kevin" over "be liam s friend" ?? in taht case it can t be that good friedship, i d dump him for good

wouldnt call theyr parents though, no need to mess whit lil boys friendships... No matter what Joe's mother will tell him, it won t change the way he feels about Kelvin

hmm

i dont have many friends nowadays i did alot of dumping

but still, those i have are good ones

how old is liam btw ?

 

[piff]

Liam is 11 I think. Maybe 12.

Let's see. My friends and I always got into arguements as kids and said we wouldn't ever talk to each other again (didn't last long, maybe an hour on a good day), but never over friendships. Tell Liam that he should decide. Or even give him the option to go with Kevin as suggested, but if he want to be with his class, hold a party over the summer. He seems like he's the kid who deserves it. Not to mention it will help his populatiry, which, like it or not, will be very important in the next couple of years.

 

[Amra]

Any update to this?

Joe's mother should be made aware of what is going on with him. He is trying to punish Kevin and is being manipulative. He needs to be taught otherwise.

 

[zodiac66]

They go back to school tomorrow. Liam thinks he wants to go golfing with Kevin. Its just a bit hard to give him advice on something like this becuase I was never in a similar situation.

 

[MixedVariety]

Sounds like you solved it just fine, Zodi. This is fairly unusual, since boys tend not to bicker like this, or at least not for long; it tends to be a girl thing.

They may all three eventually become friends, or one may be left behind. Such is the nature of childhood friendships.

Pretty cool he asked you for advice, huh?

 

[zodiac66]

Sounds like you solved it just fine, Zodi. This is fairly unusual, since boys tend not to bicker like this, or at least not for long; it tends to be a girl thing.

They may all three eventually become friends, or one may be left behind. Such is the nature of childhood friendships.

Pretty cool he asked you for advice, huh?

Yeah, it was pretty cool. He decided to stick with Kevin. We went mini golfing and played animal crossing. We made plans to go to the park tomorrow, so I think both boys are happy.

I am really proud of Liam's decision. I don't think its right to have a class party and not invite one child.

Kevin is such a sweet little boy. He is one of the most polite kids I have ever met. He thanked me three times for taking him golfing. He invited me in to play Animal Crossing with him and Liam.

Liam has made a good choice in a best friend.

 

[AeroJonesy]

And you know Kevin is thinking that Liam's mom is so cool because she plays video games.

 

[nrabbit]

don't involve the other parents if you ask me. let him decide. i mean he is 12 years old (sorry if i am wrong )if joe doesn't like that liam is hanging around with kevin and gets angry at liam than joe is not a very good friend.
i hope you understand what i mean