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Ah the wonders of multiple symptoms

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Dutchman, Nov 14, 2006.

  1. Dutchman

    Dutchman IncGamers Member

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    Ah the wonders of multiple symptoms

    Yesterday was my annual physical, and I happened to catch a brutal cold on the weekend heading in. So, Doc listens to my chest, and prescribes an inhaler.

    Now I've also smoked for years. I know I should quit, but I LOVE to smoke. I don't actually want to quit. What I need is something that makes me not want to smoke. I need an attitude changer, not a sympton suppressor.

    Lo and Behold, I recall Zyban from a co-worker years ago. This drug is an antidepressant that has the added bonus that people lose the desire to smoke while on it. I ask Doc, he says he has had success with other patients, and writes me up a prescription for that as well. I get them filled. Now I don't need an anti-depressant, but if it makes me quit smoking I'll risk it.

    So its nearing bed time and time for the inhaler, two shots in succession. It has an indicator of remaining shots on the side, it reads 120. My wife tells me that you feel the crap going into your lungs when you use an inhaler. I try it, I feel nothing. I try it again, still nada. I see the indicator still says 120, so I try a couple more times. I walk upstairs, ask my wife, and she shows me how it works, I try it a few more times, still nothing. Hop in the car, back to the pharmacy. Guy shows me the same thing I'd been trying, then says you don't feel anything with this one. But it still says 120 shots on the side... Oh no, thats only a general indicator, it drops by 10's or 20's, not individual. Great, where were you 6 hours ago? "So", I ask, "lets theorize that someone has just taken 10 or 12 of these in a row, he gonna keel over? " Nope, but you could get mouth sores and get nervous and twitchy.

    Excellent.

    So I go back home, and start reading about the Zyban after a 15 minute gargle as I'm supposed to start it in the morning. My tongue feels like I just woke up from a 3 day drinking binge.

    "You should not drink alcohol while on Zyban" *Book sails across the room. Great, my two favorite vices at the same time. I retrieve the book, grumbling.

    "But" the next word gives me hope, if you are a regular drinker, do not stop drinking entirely, as this increases the risk of seizures. There was much rejoicing, followed by a trip to the store to buy some Rye. Whiskey, as an aside, is awesome for treating sore throats. Back to the show.

    On the way home it occurs to my cold fogged, struggling brain, that it said "increases the risk" of seizures. Wait a minute? increases? So there is a risk of seizures to begin with? Great. I continued through the wonderful booklet, side affects like weight loss, weight gain (huh?), seizures in 1 of 1000 (not so bad, but I'm just trying to quit smoking here.), the runs, constipation (again, huh?), wild mood swings, thoughts of suicide (some anti-depressant), and of course, nervousness, shakiness, and twitchiness. Excellent, double whammy on that one.

    I wake up this morning, and my mouth now feels like after my 3 day drinking binge I went to, and won, a cow flop eating contest. My head is pounding, and my sinuses are around 3 times their normal size. The way my face feels, I must look like the elephant man.

    I avoid mirrors, with this risk of twitchiness I wouldn't want to terrify myself with my own image.

    More with the inhaler, my Zyban pill, and some tylenol, the cornerstone of a nutricious breakfast. I stop for my morning coffee.

    So around 10am, my head still hurts, my nose is disgusting, and I start getting all hyper sensitive. Imagine being stoned without the pleasant buzz, but with the feeling that everything around you is moving in slow motion and different parts of your body are moving at different speeds. I've had the exact same feeling, once in Uni when I sat at my computer all night chain smoking for hours (like, more than 15) on end. That feeling happened then, I'm guessing from a monster nicotine or Carbon Monoxide overdose.

    So, I feel like crap, my 2 different medicines overlap symptons, and I also have a wicked head cold. I have no idea which of these suspects is to blame, but I suspect the inhaler, it looks kind of like Durf.

    If I call my doctor, he is just going to tell me to stop taking everything, which seems to defeat the purpose of risking all this nonsense only for smoking.

    I love life - and you haven't lived untill your hands feel like they are typing at warp speed but the text appearing on the screen seems delayed like I'm typing on an old Vic20.

    Wish me luck, and if you got all the way through, you have too much time on your hands, your supersonic uber hands. Perhaps I'll go masturbate, that might push me all the way to seizure.

    Dutch
     
  2. Amra

    Amra IncGamers Member

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    Eric, don't drink coffee while on those meds!!! :shocked:

    Mabey this would be a good time to paint some rooms? :fortuneteller:

    ah, good lunch time reading my friend. :thumbsup:
     
  3. Dutchman

    Dutchman IncGamers Member

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    If the coffee is the culprit I might just burst into tears. That would eliminate my favorite 3 vices in one fell swoop, with only a single (albeit MIGHTY generous) snort in the late evening.

    At least I'm supposed to keep smoking for at least a week. I think that suicide sympton ain't medical, its poor bastards losing smokes, booze, and coffee all in one go. :(

    Dutch
     
  4. AeroJonesy

    AeroJonesy IncGamers Member

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    Looks like you still have one vice left. I'm surprised it's so low on your list. Benefit of being married, I suppose. :jig:



     
  5. Quietus

    Quietus IncGamers Member

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    Wow... all that for quitting smoking? Why not try the patch or something first?
     
  6. DOC

    DOC Off Topic Moderator

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    You know they SAY you are not supposed to drink on stuff like those, but in all my years of anti-depressants I have never had a real problem with drinking, besides the sometimes fatal mistake of taking my pills right before I go out for the night in which case I could be floored by something that would make a lightweight cheerleader laugh at me.

    As for the smoke part, my Wellbutrin is supposed to help with that too, though it was not given to me for smoking. I found this it out when they gave my dad it for smoking and we compared doses.

    Best of luck, invest in a punching bag though.
     
  7. skihard

    skihard Banned

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    I did the Zyban thing back in May of 98, last cigarette was May 10th 1998, funny how that is a date that sticks in my head kind of like the days I joined and got out of the Army. Anyhow I quit because I was wanting to get my soon to be new wife pregnant and have kids and didn't want her or them around smoking.

    Good luck with quitting but if you are like I was quitting was never really an option no matter how many times I tried until it was truely something I wanted to do. Oh and I won't lie to you there are still many days when I smell a fresh light and a little part of me goes ooooh
     
  8. caddad

    caddad IncGamers Member

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    Sounds like a lot of nonsense to deal with to me.

    You're a big boy, don't quit if you don't want to, and if you do, then put your nose to the grindstone.

    -D2netDad
     
  9. Camille

    Camille IncGamers Member

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    Anti-depressants make you feel funky for the first month or so, until your body gets used to them. I never noticed feeling any strange symptoms from my asthma medication other than my hands being a bit shaky sometimes which the nurse said was normal and had to do with more oxygen getting to all of the parts of your body. I never OD'd on the stuff though.:wink3:
     
  10. Sir EvilFreeSmeg

    Sir EvilFreeSmeg Banned

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    Sucks to be you

    ~wanderes off to have a beer~
     
  11. RevenantsKnight

    RevenantsKnight IncGamers Member

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    In case anyone cares, Wellbutrin and Zyban have the same active ingredient (in fact, I think they're more or less the same thing,) so don't take them together or you'll probably end up ODing.



     
  12. Dutchman

    Dutchman IncGamers Member

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    Yup, only difference is that one is marketed for smoking, the other as an anti-depressant.

    Anyway, yes, I've tried the patch, gum, cold turkey, etc, etc, and I have quit for extended periods many times in the past. Problem is that I always come back to wanting to smoke. There are many reasons to quit, I simply don't really want to. I enjoy the holy hell out of the damn things.

    That said, I know its in my best interests to quit. Health reasons as well as not wanting my kids around them. My son is three now, and even though I never smoke in the house he is getting old enough to wonder why I'm going outside so often. I don't want my kids to smoke, so I need to quit.

    I figure if some drug actually makes me not want to smoke, its worth a try. Not about the physical symptoms, I've successfully mastered those before on my own. I need an attitude adjustment :)

    Dutch



     
  13. Quietus

    Quietus IncGamers Member

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    You are aware that this is only a temporary fix, like anything else you might have tried, right? If you could quit for a while before, then that's wonderful - but unless you stay ON this stuff, which would be a bad idea (taking drugs unnecessarily is just begging to become dependent... just what you need, another vice? :tongue:), then you're no less likely to go back afterward than if you'd tried another method.



     

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