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Advice Please

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by bigD72, Mar 24, 2005.

  1. bigD72

    bigD72 IncGamers Member

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    Advice Please

    I've been around long enough to probably guess the answer to this question from a plurality of people.

    Yet, I still need to have it answered.

    I think I can make the assumption that most of you are in favor of sharing feelings in a relationship or a potential relationship. But, are you in favor of doing thus if it could alienate the relationship?

    [Chappelle] Oh yeah, I'm back *******![/Chappelle]
     
  2. GIR

    GIR Banned

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    Perhaps some background, and explanation as to why it could be harmful would help.

    Right now, the only way I can think that it would alienate a relationship is if the relationship is only for meaningless unattached sex, and if that's the case... then why would you want to ruin a good thing?

    And welcome back.
     
  3. Cloud_Walker

    Cloud_Walker Banned

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    Of course.
     
  4. rplusplus

    rplusplus IncGamers Member

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  5. InfinitusVerita

    InfinitusVerita IncGamers Member

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    Some things are better left unspoken, certain information is often best withheld. Depends on the lvl of involvement of both, and if there really is a true "need to know". Just my opinion.
     
  6. masterazn

    masterazn Banned

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    If I'm interpreting what you're saying correctly, I personally think you should be open and honest about things. If such honesty might ruin your relationship, then I don't think it's worth holding it in the first place, because you refuse to be open or you know she just won't handle it well.
     
  7. myleftfoot

    myleftfoot IncGamers Member

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    long answer yes with an if...
    short answer no with a but...
     
  8. DrunkCajun

    DrunkCajun Banned

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    bigD! You're back!!! Welcome!

    I second GIR--we need more info.
     
  9. bigD72

    bigD72 IncGamers Member

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    If its more information you want you can have what I have.

    I have recently been hanging out with a certain girl a goo bit over the past week or two.

    I know that 2 years ago she liked me a huge amount but I guess got over it and started dating some guy last year for roughly 9 months. They broke up about a month and a half ago.

    She told a friend of mine that I was the person she wanted to go to prom with, so I started hanging out with her as I had no potentials for a prom date and I asked her last Sunday.

    She said yes as expected. I didn't really think I liked her much, I was just going to chalk it up as going as friends, and I only hung out with her before to make sure we clicked semi-decent by ourselves and we did, thus I asked.

    So we were talking last night around 7 or 8 on instant messanger and she said she was about to go to a party and most of the night all I could think about was if she was going to get drunk and hook up with some guy and I was starting to get really jealous.

    Now, I realize I do actually like her and would like to ask her to be more than just friends, but I am afraid if she says no then we would kind of alienate our friendship and then it would be weird going to prom together.

    There is your information. I don't think I could add much more, but if there are any more specifics you people want, then ask.

    *Edit- I also very much doubt if we did become more than friends we would have a sexual relationship, more of a celebate relationship.
     
  10. blu3l1ghtn1ng

    blu3l1ghtn1ng IncGamers Member

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    If its that important, and you don't wanna make things weird, wait til after prom but still flirt with her to show her you're interested. Thats the best advice I can give you - patience.

    If not, dress up with a fake mustache, go to party, pretend to someone else, have mad sex with her and then remove your mustache, blame her for breaking your heart, and cry like a sissy girls.

    Good luck.
     
  11. bigD72

    bigD72 IncGamers Member

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    Well, prom is 3 months away (roughly), and I don't want to give that kind of time for her to give someone else a shot. Also, I have to be weary of the dreaded friend zone.

    *Edit-Freaking eh, why didn't someone tell me its almost April, so its a bit over 2 months away.
     
  12. blu3l1ghtn1ng

    blu3l1ghtn1ng IncGamers Member

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    I hate the friend zone thing too. Its worth it to cross it, but it scary to lose the person as a friend. Yea, its a hard thing to do, I'm in a similar position right now. I guess it depends on the type of guy you are. In my school, I flirt with all my girl friends (two words :)), and theyre just used to it. If i get a weird response...then ya know..
     
  13. dantose

    dantose IncGamers Member

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    Ask her, she likes you. Trust me.
     
  14. bigD72

    bigD72 IncGamers Member

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    Have I ever told you how much I love you?
     
  15. Night

    Night IncGamers Member

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    Yes, I agree with Dantose (except with a little d).

    Love me too?!
     
  16. bigD72

    bigD72 IncGamers Member

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    Meh, not so much.
     
  17. SassyChickyMomma

    SassyChickyMomma IncGamers Member

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    not sure how much my advice will be worth but i will give it a go.

    i am almost 26 yrs old and i have been out of school for awhile! :( but i can still remember what it was like to be that age (not old enough for alzheimers yet)

    ok, what was i saying? oh yeah, so this guy walks into the bar and says.....
    oops!! wait, nevermind! hahaha.

    anyway! i had this HUGE crush on a guy in HS and we were really close friends. he was also one of my brothers friends, so i never pursued it. we hung out alot with our huge "gang" of peeps and we shared some "friendly kisses" a couple of times but tried not to get TOO involved and we made the mistake of letting our friendship get in the way and lost alot of years that could have been spent together. we stayed in touch over the years and remained as close as he could get since he was in the army and stationed in germany. when he came home we decided to see where it would go and now we are married with 3 kids and could not be happier! *(with the exception of winning the lottery jackpot! LOL)

    in summary, friendship should not be a barrier. if anything it enhances your relationship because you already know so much about the person and it takes the edge off the dating scene. i think that you should try to talk to her. you OBVIOUSLY care where this goes and she must care about you if she held out for you to ask her to the prom. don't make the mistake of thinking too much. just act on it and in the end, you will know if it is right or not. all she can do is say no. and if that is how she feels, better to know now than to wait 2 months and have more feelings to risk getting hurt. and if your friendship is strong enough, it will overcome the embarrassment and you can still have fun together and she will respect you more for being honest to her!!
     
  18. DrunkCajun

    DrunkCajun Banned

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    Nice! What she said.

    Excuse me for a moment, but as far as I can tell, we have a new person in the OTF, and she needs an introduction!

    Sassy, you're going to need suspenders (to keep your pants on), a copy of the Book of Durf (not quite sure what you're supposed to do with this, but I find that it makes a great doorstop); watch out for the throat punch and trout.

    Welcome on board! As you can tell, you never escape here. It just sucks you back in. Enjoy!
     
  19. GIR

    GIR Banned

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    A new lady? And she's sassy, too?

    I like it. Any bets on how long it takes me to thoroughly offend her?
     
  20. bigD72

    bigD72 IncGamers Member

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    3 to 8 weeks.
     

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