I thought this was wonderful, so I'll cite the article but only reproduce the prayer - it's a quote but it'll be swallowed if I use the block quote notation. Dear God, Lord of all things, Ultimate Movie Critic, How are you? I don't ask you for much, O Lord. I did ask you to make Marco Rubio fail And you really came through on that one. But I think that was already mostly baked into the cake. So I kinda don't count that. Making Marco Rubio fail is like making a dog drool at the sight of bacon. It's in his nature. So O Lord In your great Balcony in the Sky With Stadium Seating And an audio system that makes George Lucas's system Look like George Lucas' face I know you hate the Female Ghostbusters Because there was something in Leviticus about it Something like "Suffer not a female ghostbuster to live" Or something Leviticus is pretty long As you well know. This movie annoys me so much Not just because looks like neon bukkake But because the usual Frenetic Religious Cultists Who worship their own vaginas Are having yet another Coordinated Group Spazz And attacking anyone Who says they don't think the movie looks very good And that, let's be honest, Melissa McCarthy and Kristin Wiig don't have the best track records. Yeah they did Bridesmaids But, like Noah said twenty minutes after the rains stopped and the seas receeded and Life and Sun returned to the earth, "What have you done for me lately?" Bridesmaids was like sixty generations ago. You know who really liked Bridesmaids? Salome. And also, Ruth. So Please O Lord, Let the Female Ghostbusters movie crash and burn As I know it must For it looketh like the leavings of many dogs scattered upon the dry and dead earth and crawling with pestilent worms and bad SNL catchphrases. Let the movie just totally befoul the bed Just let it totally die at the box office. Let there be wailing, and gnashing of teeth, and rending of garments, and cries that salt the earth. Let's face it, O Lord, There will be wailing and gnashing and rending anyway. Might as well give them something to really cry about. While they're busy crying about that, It might allow someone to not get scalped and lose his job For calling a dude who looks like a dude "Dude" Instead of hixr preferred casual reference term of "Dudexir." Please O Lord, There are so many of these freaks And you know they're freaks, come on, let's be serious, praying to you right now even though they believe in you not, because all that matters to these goofy clownpuddles is their Scarlet Witch, and Black Widow, and their other geek culture victories. All of their self-worth is poured into whether Black Widow gets her own limited-run comic book. Seriously, they make heterosexual male geeks look like the reasonable ones. I mean really. For Your sake, O Lord. For Your sake. Sometimes a continent must fall into the sea and sometimes a wave of tears must crash upon the earth. And sometimes, O Lord, You let it happen, and only provide succor to the victims. I'm saying -- don't even provide that. Just let them suffer. At some point, O Lord, You just have to let the Babies cry for their Ba-ba, until they burn all that babycrying out of their system and can focus on more important things like Hillary Clinton's coming indictment. Thank You, O Lord, For not lending Your grace or fortune to this terrible movie and letting it just be as awful as it must be So that Women can get on with their empty lives and Fat Acceptance Tumblrs and Men can get back to Busting some Ghosts As You always intended Because if You wanted women to bust ghosts You would have given them penises By which to practice aiming their Proton Packs. Annie Potts answered the phones and that should really be enough. Amen. If you're not aware of the context, read this article too & then watch the AVGN clip (below).