A little perspective--

[HockeyChic]

A little perspective--

I was talking with a friend of mine this morning who happens to be a Hospice Care Nurse. A few weeks ago she was sent to the home of someone dying from brain cancer. This someone is a 7 year old little girl. Her dad is a single father, mom walked out when she was very small, before she had been diagnosed with cancer. This morning while being helped to the bathroom the little girl collapsed, now paralyzed. She is in extreme pain despite heavy doses of morphine. She likely won't make it through the week. This daddy is about to lose his only child. He's not going to have another Christmas, birthday, another anything.
I know this is not the usual type of thread posted in here. I know it's more than a bit depressing. However, through all of our whining over trivial matters--bad day at work/school, this person is being mean to me, someone ate my cocoa puffs--, this just sort of made me stop and think about how pathetic all of that complaining really is. I guess my point is, suck it up and move on. There are worse things you could have happening to you.

 

[Isolde212]

It is a tragic point that you have made. I always try to put things into perspective. There are always others who suffer more. I think another point to make is that no one can measure how much another suffers despite their circumstances.

 

[HockeyChic]

I think another point to make is that no one can measure how much another suffers despite their circumstances.

I agree. I know that things tend to seem worse when they are happening to you. I also know that nothing I'm going through at the moment can equal the loss of one of my children.

 

[Drosselmeier]

It doesn't work that way.

This is a variation on the "Think of all the people living in misery in that other country. How dare you be upset by your own insignificant problems."

Just because it could have been worse does not mean the suffering is possible to just ignore. Even the guy in your story could have had it worse. Should he just take it in stride because there are women in some **** hole warzone who have been raped, infected with AIDS, had their childrens heads cut off in front of them and are looking at a slow death of starvation? I sure don't think so. The ammount of suffering a situation creates in a person depends to a certain degree on the frame of reference of that person. There's no reason to try to rank suffering to determine which is more noble and worthy of sympathy.

 

[Talga Vasternich]

Way to totally miss the point

 

[HockeyChic]

Way to totally miss the point

Thank you.

 

[Drosselmeier]

What? I'm just saying that it's not always healthy or even possible to put things into perspective. What point am I missing.

 

[HockeyChic]

The point I was making was that many of us, in the grand scheme of things, really have little to complain about. I was in no way belittling any other tragedy. I was simply saying there are things you can see, hear, read that make you take a deep breath and be thankful for what you have.

 

[bg1256]

I think I agree with both Drosselmeier and HockeyChic on this one...paradoxically.

I think it's good to remember how fortunate most of us are, because we often take a lot of things for granted, especially our health. However, Dross's point is valid too. If all we do is minimize our own problems in light of tragedies in the world, it can easily become unhealthy.

 

[HAMC8112]

What point am I missing.

You need to put things in perspective.:innocent:

 

[Talga Vasternich]

HC... I'm glad you posted this, even if it's only a reminder to do the things I do anyway.

I hope you don't end up as frustrated as I believe you're going to be (and I will be) when it turns into some pissing-contest debate.

 

[Drosselmeier]

The point I was making was that many of us, in the grand scheme of things, really have little to complain about. I was in no way belittling any other tragedy. I was simply saying there are things you can see, hear, read that make you take a deep breath and be thankful for what you have.

My point, as bg said, is that when you are suffering it's not necessarily the best thing to do to try to take the edge off your own suffering by comparing your own misery to that of others. It's a form of denial, and one which can easily lead to self-loathing if it doesn't work as intended. People who tell others to put things into perspective can easily give a person who is miserable already a bad conscience as icing on the cake. When I read your op I got the impression that you thought people should stop fretting over their minor problems since things could have been worse. You said that people who have problems you don't consider serious need to "suck it up" and I don't agree with that.

I do agree that one should be thankful for what one has though. You're totally right about that.

 

[HockeyChic]

HC... I'm glad you posted this, even if it's only a reminder to do the things I do anyway.

I hope you don't end up as frustrated as I believe you're going to be (and I will be) when it turns into some pissing-contest debate.

Thanks.
I'm not going to worry about a little pissing match. It goes on in here practically everyday. As I said, there are worse things in life and I'm not going to worry about whatever debate this happens to stir up.

 

[Drosselmeier]

Yeah. I don't agree completely with the message of a post and that means I'm trying to start a pissing match. Way to subtly call me a jerk.

 

[PatMaGroin]

I think I agree with both Drosselmeier and HockeyChic on this one...paradoxically.

I think it's good to remember how fortunate most of us are, because we often take a lot of things for granted, especially our health. However, Dross's point is valid too. If all we do is minimize our own problems in light of tragedies in the world, it can easily become unhealthy.

I agree completely.

HC, yeah, it sucks, and is in all likelihood worse that anything we go through day after day. But we can't just ignore our own problems because someone is worse off than we are.

A child crying herself to sleep every night because their parents are always fighting, a man who just lost his job and is about to lose his house, a woman who was raped and beaten; they can't all just say "Oh, someone has it worse than I do" and just move on, that's not healthy at all.

Yeah, we shouldn't ***** and moan over the trivial things that happen to us everyday, but most people do have real problems, and even though they might not be on the same level as losing your only child to brain cancer, and having to live without any piece of the family you used to have, they can still be very troubling, and just 'sucking it up and moving on' might not work.

 

[HockeyChic]

I agree completely.

HC, yeah, it sucks, and is in all likelihood worse that anything we go through day after day. But we can't just ignore our own problems because someone is worse off than we are.

A child crying herself to sleep every night because their parents are always fighting, a man who just lost his job and is about to lose his house, a woman who was raped and beaten; they can't all just say "Oh, someone has it worse than I do" and just move on, that's not healthy at all.

Yeah, we shouldn't ***** and moan over the trivial things that happen to us everyday, but most people do have real problems, and even though they might not be on the same level as losing your only child to brain cancer, and having to live without any piece of the family you used to have, they can still be very troubling, and just 'sucking it up and moving on' might not work.

Again-----

I was in no way belittling any other tragedy. I was simply saying there are things you can see, hear, read that make you take a deep breath and be thankful for what you have.

 

[skihard]

Apparently I gave the impression that I directed my reply towards someone in particular so I'll just delete it because that wasn't my intent.

peace *****es :sunny:

 

[kobold]

I was talking with a friend of mine this morning who happens to be a Hospice Care Nurse. A few weeks ago she was sent to the home of someone dying from brain cancer. This someone is a 7 year old little girl. Her dad is a single father, mom walked out when she was very small, before she had been diagnosed with cancer. This morning while being helped to the bathroom the little girl collapsed, now paralyzed. She is in extreme pain despite heavy doses of morphine. She likely won't make it through the week. This daddy is about to lose his only child. He's not going to have another Christmas, birthday, another anything.
I know this is not the usual type of thread posted in here. I know it's more than a bit depressing. However, through all of our whining over trivial matters--bad day at work/school, this person is being mean to me, someone ate my cocoa puffs--, this just sort of made me stop and think about how pathetic all of that complaining really is. I guess my point is, suck it up and move on. There are worse things you could have happening to you.

I have nothing of value to add to your comments HC.

I just replied in the hopes that someone else may read it again and realize the value of what you posted.

QFT.

 

[Lazer LXXVII]

Yeah its true, but its just human nature. When you have a bad day, it seems like the world is against you, but you dont take in consideration the people laying in the hospital beds, with excruciating pain day in and day out, not knowing how much longer they will be alive.

Though it is sad, its just human nature. When you have a bad day you are just pissed that you had a bad day, but then 100 miles away a little boy could have lost his mother in a car accident.

I dunno if any of that made sense.

 

[jmervyn]

The point I was making was that many of us, in the grand scheme of things, really have little to complain about.

Way to bring down the mood of the OTF, Chic! This place is devoted to whining and self-indulgence; didn't you get the memo? :undecided:

My prayers already offered for the girl & parents. Both of my parents lost their respective firstborn sons, and it is still an open wound in both of their lives.