Sexual Innuendos and Diablo III

As the regular listeners to The Diablo Podcast have no doubt noticed (for better or worse), I enjoy verbal joking and wordplay. It’s a writer thing. I can’t help mixing in puns and spoonerisms and portmanteau, if only for my own enjoyment. Thus, last week when I thought of a few amusing double entendres using Diablo III terms, I had to share them, and what better place than in the never-ending OT thread in our Diablo III Community forum?

The topic stirred interest in a number of the other posters, and in no time quite a few additional examples had been offered up. It’s SFW, and you guys are welcome to offer your own in comments. A few samples; click through for the full list. Thanks to Kestegs, MrFrye, Neinball, Dacar92, and a few others for most of the suggestions.

• “My favorite Demon Hunter skill is Impale.”
• “My Sweeping Wind will be like a Breath of Heaven and give you Serenity.”
• “Is that a credit card in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
• “My monk unleashed a crippling wave with his staff.”
• “Awesome! Female barbarians are only $10 in the auction house!”

• “I want to socket her with my alabaster runestone.”
• “My Barbarian wants to combo his Ancient Spear with your Wizard’s Ice Armor.”
• “My pound of flesh helps me stay lively”
• “Blizzard drops Single Player from D3, Vaseline stock plummets”
• “I can use my Magic Missle to set off an Explosive Blast and Firebomb my Familiars.”
• “Ever since I socketed her with my rune last night it burns when I use my ancient spear.”
• That’s because it’s Ancient. You need to Ignore Pain and use a Mantra of Healing on it.
• New Discovery X Channel DVD releases:
  Vol1 – Where the really Nephalem come from
  Vol2 – From Nephalem to Homo Sapiens
  Vol3 – Now that we are mortal

If you want more laughs, you should check the Diablo III humor gallery.