Sexual Innuendos and Diablo III


As the regular listeners to DiabloWikiThe Diablo Podcast have no doubt noticed (for better or worse), I enjoy verbal joking and wordplay. It’s a writer thing. I can’t help mixing in puns and spoonerisms and portmanteau, if only for my own enjoyment. Thus, last week when I thought of a few amusing double entendres using Diablo III terms, I had to share them, and what better place than in the never-ending OT thread in our Diablo III Community forum?

The topic stirred interest in a number of the other posters, and in no time quite a few additional examples had been offered up. It’s SFW, and you guys are welcome to offer your own in comments. A few samples; click through for the full list. Thanks to Kestegs, MrFrye, Neinball, Dacar92, and a few others for most of the suggestions.

  • “My favorite Demon Hunter skill is Impale.”
  • “My Sweeping Wind will be like a Breath of Heaven and give you Serenity.”
  • “Is that a credit card in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
  • “My monk unleashed a crippling wave with his staff.”
  • “Awesome! Female barbarians are only $10 in the auction house!”

  • “I want to socket her with my alabaster runestone.”
  • “My Barbarian wants to combo his Ancient Spear with your Wizard’s Ice Armor.”
  • “My pound of flesh helps me stay lively”
  • “Blizzard drops Single Player from D3, Vaseline stock plummets”
  • “I can use my Magic Missle to set off an Explosive Blast and Firebomb my Familiars.”
  • “Ever since I socketed her with my rune last night it burns when I use my ancient spear.”
  • That’s because it’s Ancient. You need to Ignore Pain and use a Mantra of Healing on it.
  • New Discovery X Channel DVD releases:
    Vol1 – Where the really Nephalem come from
    Vol2 – From Nephalem to Homo Sapiens
    Vol3 – Now that we are mortal

If you want more laughs, you should check the Diablo III humor gallery.

Tagged As: | Categories: Forums, Humour

Comments

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  1. Sounds like the “anal [insert linked skill or item]” jokes in WoW chat.

  2. “I want to socket her with my alabaster runestone”

    the best

  3. Naah. Nothing compares with DII bone spear (a.k.a. boner) related puns.

  4. I’m more of a fan of using the “slimy bone” in all sorts of comedy in WoW. Which brings up the next question, will there be junk drops? Not just weapons and stuff but straight up, junk. If you are grabbing a weapon, or some other junk and u get a slimy bone, then u will have to watch for another drop.

    Eh get it? Eh?? Ehh?? …….. I wonder if Elly is hot.

  5. @Flux: I’d say “don’t quit your day job” but writing these IS your day job damn you

  6. I feel embarrassed for you for writing this and putting it up for public viewing as though it was a thing to be proud of.

  7. am I the only one that didn’t laugh?

Comments are closed.