Reasons to be Thankful in Sanctuary

So it’s Thanksgiving today in the US, and we Americans are relaxing with our families and watching our misnamed version of “football” and eating too much. (Even more than usual.) Stacked atop the gluttony and preparations for rampant consumerism are some small, still voices urging us to be thankful. To take a moment to review our lives and think of the things we’re grateful for. Ironically or otherwise.

In that spirit, what are you thankful for on this holiday, and how do the characters in Sanctuary feel about it?

The DiabloWikiFollowers are thankful for that item you just gave them. Also that skill. And that other one too! They’d have chosen the same one themselves! Even if all their equipment is just +exp and +MF stuff that does nothing for their survival or negligible killing power and exists solely to let you gain loot or exp some tiny percentage faster.

The DiabloWikiBlacksmith is thankful to have a reason to work, again. It gives his life meaning, after the thrill of being single again began to fade. (Not that he actually does any work, what with the state of DiabloWikiCrafting these days.)

The DiabloWikiDemon Hunter is thankful that there are infinite numbers of enemies, since that way her revenge can go on forever.

The male DiabloWikiWizard is thankful that no one cares about the whole Starfish hat thing anymore. Or the “wimpy” Anime-face thing either. He had a tough pre-game.

The DiabloWikiBarbarian is thankful that Blizzard’s been afraid to nerf his wildly-OP “run past things and watch them die” build that was only enabled by an freakish intersection of defense and escape skills that somehow combined to make the best offensive attack in the game.

The DiabloWikiWitch Doctor is thankful that he made the cut at all, and tries not to be hurt by the constant fan comments about wanting the Necromancer back in D3X. Also, for going into battle heavily armored in feathers, coconut shells, and dog bones for armor. That’s just awesome. Thanks so much.

The DiabloWikiMonk is not thankful. Nor bitter. He exists in a pure state of meditative contemplation, which will be broken only if/when he’s given some buffs to become a viable character in Diablo III.

The DiabloWikiTreasure Goblin is thankful for… well for nothing, really. He’s just out there, trying to make a living, picking up loot just like the heroes, hurting no one, hurting no one… and what’s his thanks? Death. Cruel, vindictive, multi-stage death, delivered by gleefully-greedy heroes who are supposed to be concentrating on ridding the world of dangerous demons.

I’m thankful that we finally have a Diablo 3 to play, and that the game has seen so many big improvements since launch. And as some of you guys always say, as soon as the DiabloWikiArena is in and the game’s finally finished with the retail Beta test, it’ll be awesome!

DiabloWikiJay Wilson is thankful that no one remembers his “F**** that loser” remark anymore. He’s even been tweeting again, after several months of Twitter silence.

I’d be more thankful if a solid 50% of my v1.05 DiabloWikiLegendary item finds weren’t Monk hats and claws. Seriously, the Monk is my only sub-lvl 60 class, it’s (currently) considered the least powerful of the 5 classes, and I’ve found 4 of this hat, 3 of this one, and two copies of two of the claws. And none of the rolls have even been any good!

I’m also thankful that someone made some gifs from the old Diablo II TV commercial.

What are you thankful for, in Diablo III, this year?

Tagged As: | Categories: Diabloii.Net Articles, Fan Stuff, Humour


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  1. The vendors are thankful to somehow still have employment despite the fact that all you do is sell them junk and never buy anything from them.

  2. I’m thankful for IncGamers!!! What would Diablo 3 have been without you??
    Thanks Flux!!! Thanks Elly too!

    Btw, hilarious post Flux ^^

  3. Good post. Enjoyed the levity. I’m thankful that PVP is on the way! (I hope)

  4. I never understood this site.

    Why is the biggest fan site of Diablo 3 so indulged by tackling Blizzard, its co workers and CEO’s ?

    It is the mentality of 15 year old pubers.

    • lol. It’s just Flux and his sarcasm. Inside he loves this game 😉 You’d hear it listening to some past podcasts, too.

      It’s true though, the bashing could tone down a bit. I pretty much agree with “I’m thankful that we finally have a Diablo 3 to play, and that the game has seen so many big improvements since launch.”

      Just enjoy the game, make constructive criticsm, suggestions and think what other awesomness awaits in future patches and xpacks.

    • Get a grip of yourself, it’s a bit of tongue in cheek humour. If you can’t join in, keep schtum or stay away. None of it will be ‘toned down’, ever. Seriously, you’d suck the air out of a room if you could.

      • He’s not referring to this current post of thanksgiving Elly. He meant in overal. I agree on it a bit, as Im a big fan of D3 (why else would I read this site right?). Sometimes (though lately its been much better) I also feel like you guys could sometimes be a bit less bashy at D3. Keeping our spirits up and believing in the game rather than smashing us believers so to speak 🙂

        Don’t take this the wrong way, Ive been reading for years and for good reason.

  5. Thankful for Borderlands 2 numbing the Diablo 3 pain and not having the pleasure of knowing Thrall in person.
    Merry Xmas

  6. Serious answer:

    I am thankful for that godly Manticore I found in 1.0.4 that earned me 600 million gold on the Auction House

    I am thankful to the Act 1 Keywarden for dropping two legendaries (and no keys!) earlier today.

    I am thankful to the Enchantress for buffing my Barbarian and only ever complaining about how long I take to salvage my legendaries, and not how I ignore her and let her die while (sorry, I’m dizzy)

  7. I’m thankful diablo 2 servers are still running

  8. I’m thankful for finding my second ever legendary yesterday. Okay, it wasn’t fantastic ( but still I let out a yelp when it dropped.

    • How much play time have you clocked in, Elly? I’m just curious whether it’s an issue of “my ___ is still only level 39” or if it’s more like “i do 10 mp5 runs per day and just have horrible luck”

      • she doesn’t use the AH and crafting isn’t much help

        so finding something nice is good 🙂

      • Closer to the former, I imagine. Personally, I’ve only found a couple of legendaries when leveling alts but when doing inferno A3 runs with my main I find like one every hour.

  9. Well actually treasure goblins should be thankful for MP system. They can finally jump away through that portal which takes forever to open and they still have 90% of their life !

  10. Thankful for this site, having kept the same effect it always had on my diablo playing habits! Would’ve never returned to playing after quitting in June If it wasn’t for 😉

    Oh, and thankful for having discovered HC all over again! And football, The real one, none Of that handegg crap! Go United!

  11. im thankful becose d2 is a boting world and
    d3 still is a for best d2 botters a boting world

    and all we know that.

  12. Well, with all these demons roaming around, you don’t need scarecrows to protect your crops, guess you could be thankful for that…

  13. Flux, you forgot that Blizzard is thankful for all the morons pouring real money into the RMAH. Especially since itemization in this game is god awful.

  14. I’m thankful that there are healthy alternatives to D3.

  15. The D3 classes are thankful for having TWO out of FOUR main stats being pertinent to them. Also, they are very thankful for their weapon damage and crit hit and crit damage; without these, they would be UTTERLY lost and without hope.

  16. I am thankful for having found path of exile and quitting d3

  17. I still keep them old goody D2 commercials around and watch now and again, just for fun =)
    I’m not american but I can chime in on the thanking anyway and I’m thankful that the internet is still working.

  18. I’m thankful for having found Leoric’s Signet so I could level my HC characters and I’m thankful that even though my clvl54 Wiz died while wearing it, that I still have one clvl60 WD that will allow to find a new one.
    I’m also thankful for all the great ‘one life to live’ posts. May they rest in pieces.

  19. I’m thankful for finally having a logical name for “American football”. Handegg indeed.

  20. I am thankful for the Advil that helps my sore mouse hand from playing this damn game to much. Although some of that pain has to do with my job(using grinders and welding), I am sure I only get my hand stuck in claw form after a 8 hr game session. I guess I could thank the new supervisor for not wanting us to have any overtime, which allows me to play D3 more. But, said job allowed me to have this big black box full of computer goodness I have beside me, purchased because of the abundance of overtime I used to have. It all goes in a circle if you really think about it.

  21. I’m thankful for all the D3 haters who dwell inside their own hatered, burning from the inside, feeling even worse.

    Yes, I’m sadistic 😀

  22. I’m thankful for the fun & fluid gameplay, and for the WD class. I’m also thankful for the therapeutic effect of slaying demons which makes me clear my head 🙂

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