Diablo III in Three Minutes

I got numerous laughs from this video, by Gather Your Party, which compresses the entire Diablo III story and play experience into three minutes of non-stop action. Vile butterfly magic! More footprints! Absolutely no evidence that Azmodan could command a Dairy Queen, much less the armies of Hell! It’s all here, with spoilers if you haven’t seen the entire game yet.

Azzure insisted I mention his new “complain about the dialogue” thread, since it’s the corny D3 writing that makes this video funny. So here you go.

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27 thoughts on “Diablo III in Three Minutes

  1. yep

    and his 3 other videos perfectly sum up the rest of the issues with the game as well, he covers the story (or lack thereof), the drab item system, and the game difficulty (all 3 fronts where D3 really dropped the ball IMHO)

    I am so psyched for TL2 now, all the interviews and videos have looked/sounded great so far and I just don’t see Max letting us down like Jay did, somehow Max got away from the corporate whoring that Blizzard has become, and for that I have much respect for Runic and wish them the best in the future

    as for D3…. well here’s to hoping that in a few patches/expansions/years more in BETA testing that they can work all this crap out (it’s not looking great so far, but in time, who knows)

  2. I actually lol’ed at work 😛 Footprints and Kulle’s laughter – just brilliant.

  3. Sometimes I also wonder if Diablo could’ve succeeded his mission if he wouldn’t have watch and talk to the nephalem. O yeah, and we are so lucky that despite the fact we are 10 times smaller than him(her?), we could overtake him in the climbing race while he had a huge time adventage and we also did some quests in the high heavens. Not to mention we overtook him in a huge circle-like room with 2 health shrines, and not in a narrow corridor!

  4. “You will never destroy the hell rifts!”
    “Don’t destroy that rift or my minions will kill you!”
    “Ok, you’ve destroyed that rift, I didn’t need it anyway, because I still have one that you’ll never destroy”
    “Don’ destroy that rift or hell will swallow you”
    “Ok, I didn’t need these rifts, I’ll win anyway”

    ^This should have been in the video!

    • No kidding. I turned off subtitles and voice volume before I finished Act IV the first time.

  5. I’m playing through Nightmare currently, so that means my second time through the story.
    I honestly have to say that my “click-click-click-click” now applies less to the amount of damage I’m doing to monsters and more to how quickly I can skip through the dialogues -specifically Magda and Azmodan. 😀

    I thought Zoltun Kulle was/is cool (no pun intended). I enjoy his dialogue.

    I’ll probably skip through all of Cydaea and Diablo’s dialogue when I get to them. Cydaea really isn’t that bad from what I remembered, but did seem rather long-winded rather than threatening.

    -Video was awesome!

        • Yeah, Esc + Enter gets you past them all before Diablo can finish clearing his raspy throat. I find him by far the most annoying; Azmodan’s constant holographic check ins are annoying, but at least he shuts up once you’re actually fighting him. Diablo interrupting the battle, twice, to lecture you more about how all you ever loved will die, is maddening.

  6. Yes, the “story” in D3 sucks BADLY, but this video didn’ seem funny at all for me most of the time.

    Except the Act II part, that is very amusing.

  7. Yea.. they really screwed up a chance to make the prime evil worthy of the title. Remember in D2 how when Diablo assumed his true form in the cinematic and slowly looked back before entering the gate to hell? He didn’t say a word and that further dehumanized him. He should be a totally unrelatable figure of pure evil. He only had one thing to say to you in the whole game “Not even death can save you from me!”. I’ll never forget that first encounter.

  8. I like how the only things in general chat were spam for gold/character selling/leveling services.

  9. Hobojoes summed it up.


    I thought d3 was gonna be a hd version of d2, at least in the cinematic aspect. The writing was simple back then,but it was compelling enough to make me excited to see the sequel ten years later. :/

  10. Good video, but I think you seriously over-represented the difficulty. Looks like you had serious trouble with a few of those fights.

  11. No wonder the makers of this site were backlisted by Blizzard a few years ago.

    As can be seen above: pretty much the same idiots who want to mock everything show up (as usual).

    Diablo series is not exactly a rewrite of War and Peace but I’ve read (and played ) much worse.

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