The Diablo 3 Darwin Awards


diablo 3 darwin awards

*Insert comedic sound effect*

The Darwin Awards are a long-standing meme and Internet site devoted to chronicling the really stupid, mostly self-inflicted ways people die, IRL. Over the weekend the topic came up in clan chat and one of the regulars in our IncHC West clan (name withheld to protect the guilty) admitted that he’d recently lost a Witch Doctor when gaming very late and night, after he FELL ASLEEP while running a Greater Rift. And woke up dead, as the saying goes.

Spinning the straw of defeat into the gold of posterity, he suggested that I use this platform to push other players to come forward with their own Darwin Award-worthy deaths… and here we are. The official archive is this Diablo 3 Darwin Awards thread in our Hardcore forum. We’ve long had a Hardcore Graveyard forum, but those are mostly plain burials, without a lot of drama or story-telling.

For the Darwin Awards thread, we want weird and silly and stupid stuff. It’s got quite a few tales already, with the just-added and hard-to-believe tale behind my very recent Demon Hunter death. (How did I manage to suffer an unavoidable death at the hands of the easiest Rift Guardian? Click and find out.) I bet some of you guys have suffered even more tragic fates, or maybe you know the story of a “friend” who qualifies. Add them to the forum thread, or put them in comments here. The death doesn’t have to be Hardcore, but for obvious reasons those are the types of deaths that pack a more palpable punch.

And if all else fails, blame Jay Wilson. Or lag.

Tagged As: | Categories: Forums, Hardcore, Hardcore Graveyard, News

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  1. When I was powerleveling I kept looking for \CC\ in Act 1. After doing it a bunch of times, I called out for help with a HC Seasons CC T6(59) and got someone to log in to help out. They said \there's no CC\. I looked and said \Oops! I saw Cursed Crypt and thought it was Cursed Cellar. Should we do it anyway?\ He said \if you want\. I hid in the corner while trying to leech yummy xp. A stray mob or two came over and tapped me on the shoulder and I died immediately. Why oh why are there two \CC\'s in Act I. Damn you Jay Wilson!

  2. Right after the ROS release, I had invited a friend to join me for my first fight against Malthael and was really looking forward to unlocking bounties. Unfortunately my friend was busy and even more unfortunately I left the chat prompt open as I entered the bossfight. The chat prompt after I deeded looked a little bit like this:
    111112133444qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq

    • That didn't happen to me in D3 yet, but I can tell you that when your tank in WoW starts to write things like that it's not a good omen either. 🙂

  3. I hit the accept rez and i died half a sec later to fire traps.

  4. My very first character on HC leveled up to 70 (Wizard), paragon around 15 died because I was SO sure I still had Unstable Anomaly chosen as one of my passive skills even I switched it for Glass Cannon around level 60… I was fighting a boss (Jailer + Frozen Pulse), putting on some Archon and then I got hit hard so I was like super cool with my 1% of HP like “let´s just walk away and regen a bit in safety when my death procs the passive” and then I just died and was like WTF! I cried and blamed Blizzard for having bugs like “while in Archon it doesn´t proc Unstable Anomaly etc.” but then I figured I could check it in my profile if I actually had that passive and recieved a big slap in my face 😀

  5. deeded my second wizardette on seasons 1-2h ago = my boss wanted me to do something for about 2-3 minutes, i got up after just killing a yellow&co.
    evidently, i forgot to press escape and instead pressed 'i'.
    i came back looking forward to easy solo gold farming for the next 4 days, sat down and noticed red blur. at first no worries cuz i paused the game.
    NOT!

    it seems one of the little critters that dig in the ground was underground and missed him. usually i never get up before i killed the screen.
    but since i started changing to pausing the game than to tp, … fail.

    not funny, just stupid

  6. It may have been before patch 1.3 or shortly after. My first hardcore demon hunter, back when every class was using shields to level up. He was 59 in act 3 keep depths. Had an elite pack on the other side of an iron gate which was a door that wasn't breakable but was see through so you could attack through it. I laughed at them for piling up plagued, desecration, and arcane sentries at the door while i was plugging them away at range. I was instagibbed when i got vortexed against the door and had no chance to smoke screen.

  7. Every game I had Moratorium equipped. It's really hard to mentally un-train the damage intake estimates, so every 4th champ pack or so I'd end up stacking a big dot and dying two screens away waiting for my potion cooldown.

    Was playing with a friend doing Grift trials. He'd run to the corner of the arena to wait out the timer, so I opened the chat prompt to type in something at the end of a wave. Next wave spawned and killed me. So I rezzed, hit the wrong cooldown because I was laughing at myself. Died again.

  8. The 2nd weekend following the start of the season I was rifting HC in a low torment pub game with my Crusader.

    We had mostly cleared the floor and the party was gathered around an unclicked conduit pylon. The party's WD was freaking out in chat because he had just found the last piece he needed for his JH set, a near perfect chest piece with Int, Vit, 3 Sockets and + %Locust dmg.

    I was wearing Nem. bracers and when everyone said they were ready i click the pylon before we were going to head tot he next floor.

    Conduit Shrine + Nem. Bracers = insta death for the elite pack that spawned… with molten… on top of the WD who was still fiddling with his inventory and new found toy…

    I didn't know whether to be horrified that I had just accidentally killed the guy off and cost him his shiny, newly completed, set, or laugh hysterically.

    I did salvage the Nem. bracers after the run was over though.

  9. My first hardcore death was dumb :
    i was playing in a public game, and wanted to clear alone a dungeon near maghda. got stuck and died.

  10. The Archive "Diablo 3 Darwin awards thread " link you posted does not work .

  11. Well,mine most pro HC dead was wgit 1st DH on vanila D3 … Ive get 60 and take the “finest” gear like Natalyas set and Winforse … And when i was rdy for adventuring ive go to Highlends where take my down that damned acid from these beutiful little flores from cursed trees when my char was going for 150g … That was really demoralizing …

  12. I was playing my level 69 HC wizard and got dropped from the game. Logged into the disappointment of a waste of time… As much as I love HC, I can’t risk playing anymore :/

  13. The most embarrassing lets see… Like WoWCrendor,A famous you-tuber, Lets look at the top 10 most fail deaths I hadmost of them a hardcore charicter in Diablo. if you had it happen put a number in the reply comment!
    10: “ROFL HAHAH Screen shot! oh crap i died, NOOOO!” being killed via town portal by a ghost rat. (or a single demon) I was channeling it and the rat jumped up and killed me.
    9: “Get off I’m gonna die! NO DANG IT (insert pet here)”. ever had that time when a pet wanted attention? Try moving while your pet sits in your arms begging.
    #8: “But it was a whole group of them!” I call hem drones. there the elite demons and rares that walk around in groups like a group of women on a shopping spree and kill you as soon as you enter an area.
    #7 The “GET OUT OF THE FIRE!”. Well i stood in the fire and died while /afkd. Lesson learned Blizz
    #6 Lag rager. “I’m lagging where am i going! oh is that a monster?” *FATALITY* This explains itself.
    #5: the “Oh lets go over here!” The time when you lost in a map and you decide to go down an unexplored path straight into monsters that are elite AND rare
    #4: The “Sorry what? what? WHAT?! WHAAAA?!” Moment: The time when you teleport to the town, realize you forgot the reason why teleported back and forth twice, then get killed by a roaming mob when you realize you were doing too hard a setting
    #3 “WTF!” moment: When you die due to one small attack that shouldn’t have killed you by a big boss but it did anyway.
    #2 “****ing monsters!” the moment when you die because you couldn’t vault or push back a mob far enough to run
    #1 “I’m such an idiot” That time when you keep pushing the potion button but you never gained health. You die realizing you never had potions to start off with.
    And that is Maverra’s top ten deaths! Tune in next time!

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