A week ago I mentioned that the DiabloWikiDiablo III beta was looking September-ish, based on logic and some inside info. Today DiabloWiki@Diablo confirmed that we’ve got to do a bit more of what Blizzard games fans do best… wait.

    Any news about the beta you could share please? 🙂 –Highlifejewelry
    We’re workin on it! It’s going to be a little while. In the meantime watch for info coming out of #Gamescom —Diablo

    “A little while” goes into the Blizzard-speak lexicon right beside “soon™” and “when it’s done™.” Set your calendars…

    Update #1: Lest the mood turn universally as gloomy as the first dozen comments… this doesn’t necessarily rule out a 2011 release. Blizzard has repeatedly made clear that the beta will be short and sweet and primarily for tech support. It could start in late Sept, run for 2 months, and D3 would still make a December release. Though obviously that window continues to narrow.

    Update #2: @Diablo fielded a follow-up, after perhaps judging the despair his previous tweet was sewing in the hearts of men.

    How long should we be waiting for beta on a scale of ghoul to baal? I don’t think i can wait any longer. –cionze
    Radament. –Diablo

    I bet Bashiok’s eyes got as wide as dinner plates when he saw that tweet. Can someone check the IP# to see if it came from Irvine? It’s kind of a joke, it relates to Diablo II, it’s evocative, it provides absolutely nothing even resembling factual information, and it’s so open to interpretation that anyone can read anything into it. You could argue anywhere from one week to three years out of that “Radament on a ghoul-to-Baal” metric.

    You all should start using this measuring scale in real life. Girlfriend asks if she looks fat in her new pants? “No way Honey! Your ass is Stormtree, at the worst. Maybe you’ll be down to Duriel if you keep doing those new step classes? Not like that bitch Stephanie; she’s like, the Grand Vizier of Chaos in yoga pants.”

    Wait, let me try that again. “Mom, these cookies are fantastic! They’re at least oh…. Diablo. If you’d used a few more walnuts they’d be be pushing a Doc Farren, or maybe even a Bonesaw Breaker!”

    Update #3: The plot thickens with a graph that precisely charts…. something. The difficulty with using the GtBS™ (the Ghoul-to-Baal-Scale) is that @Diablo’s starting and ending points are not fixed. Is today “Ghoul-day” and the last possible day for the “third quarter” beta is Sept 30th “Baal-day?”

    Worse yet, ghouls are not the first monster found in Diablo II. They are a subtype of zombie that you don’t encounter until levels 3-4 of the Catacombs. (The proper D2 SuperUnique scale would proceed from DiabloWikiCorpsefire to DiabloWikiBaal.) In other words, depending on the monster spawn and level layout, you might not see your first Ghoul until seconds before Andariel, with Radament coming just a few minutes later as the first SuperUnique of Act 2.

    If you want to really confuse things, consider that the Ghoul Lord is a subtype of vampire first encountered in the Arcane Sanctuary. After Radament! That turns the chart inside out. It’s like dividing by zero! We are all doomed.

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