Crusader Speech from Heroes of the Storm

johanna-hots2Heroes of the Storm has more Diablo content than Diablo 3 does, or at least that’s the joke going around, as the full details of the playable Crusader character and the Diablo-themed map for Heroes of the Storm have been revealed. For instance, check out all the Butcher’s special abilities and behaviors.

There are playable Diablo characters as well, including Azmodan and Diablo herhimself. My only HotS experience was a game at Blizzcon in 2014, when I, of course, played Diablo and enjoyed being on the dealing end of his attacks, for once.

A more recently revealed character is the female Crusader, Johanna, who boasts a full array of pithy comments, many of them amusing in a Diablo 3 sense. Some highlights:

  • Cower before Zakarum!
  • Make your peace. Quickly.
  • Another nephalem! I suppose the minions of hell have grown stronger.
  • Think you can keep up, paladin?
  • Yes, me. You know, no one will judge you if you can’t keep up, paladin. You’re simply outclassed.
  • Is that all? I expected a discourse on how I’ll never defeat you. Again. (To Azmodan.)
  • How many times is that, Diablo? I always lose count. (When killing Diablo.)
  • Why are you clicking on me, and not on my enemies or loot? What kind of game is this?
  • Jokes? You’re expecting jokes? Fine, I believe I can accommodate. A crusader, a paladin and a templar walk into a tavern. And then they all have a drink. …no? …well not everyone appreciates crusader humor.
  • The most important thing about wearing heavy armor, is to NEVER think about how much it itches… Oh, that’s going to get annoying…
  • Oh, Akarat, bless this, thy holy flail that with it, thou mayest smite thine enemies into tiny, tiny, unfathomably tiny bits. In thy mercy. Let it be so.
  • I bear my Master’s name, as her master did before her. Someday my apprentice will bear mine, and she will find an apprentice to bear it after her. We all have the same name, that’s what I’m getting at.
  • Some fellow mistook me for a templar yesterday. I asked him, “Have you ever heard me shout ‘Glorious!’?” He answered “I have now.” He was a witty fellow, shame he’s dead now.
  • Some witty stuff, playing on the encounters in Diablo 3 and the conventions of the genre. Click through to hear all of Johanna’s speeches from the game, packed into a 12m video (audio only).

    HotS is an interesting thing, since we’ve always seen cross-pollination between different Blizzard games, but usually just in the form of re-purposed skills, or occasional guest appearances. Or DiabloWikiEaster Eggs, of course. But since HotS takes characters and monsters from all other Blizzard games and throws them in together (HotS’ original title, “Blizzard All-Stars” still seems more appropriate) we see completely reworked characters from our game, in that game.

    I don’t think these are enough to make players try HotS if they’re not into LoL type gaming and the hundreds of hours it requires to not suck, but if you are gaming HotS and you like Diablo 3, it’s a double bonus!


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    1. She is a fantastic character to play if you time the skills right with others assisting. had over 25 takedowns in one game the other day.

      Speaking of which as usual I made and posted a wallpaper for her yesterday:

    2. Polish translation line for joke is something like that:
      A crusader, a paladin and a templar walk into a sanctuary and are given two balls. Seen later, Paladin has lost one ball and broke another.
      He he …no? …well not everyone appreciates crusader humor.

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