Columnist Resurrected: Flux’s Decahedron

It’s been a while since we posted one of these, but here’s a fresh batch of old columns from our days. This time it’s episodes 6-10 of Flux’s Decahedron, my old Humorous Top Ten lists. These columns were written in early 2003, during D2X v1.09, so some of the game info is far from current, to say nothing of the early 00s humor references and slang, and comments about the general state of in those long ago days when Hammerdins were nerfed and Necromancers were a rarely-encountered punchline. That said, much of the game info is as accurate (or not) today as it was back then, and there are plenty of laughs. Here’s a quote from Column 6 over which I was eloeling today, as I read it while fixing the formatting and uploading all of the images.

#7: Telekinesis

A once useful skill, TK has been reduced to a noise-maker as Bliz has given it nerf after nerf, removing the possibility of it being useful in almost any circumstance.

Veteran griefers miss the good old days when clueless noobs could be effortlessly gulled into dropping their best item in town, to “prove that it wasn’t duped”.  Once on the ground it was as good as theirs.  Now they have to go to all the trouble of standing on the other side of the Rogue Encampment fence and teleporting over to steal items from nubs. Such an inconvenience!

At any rate, TK helps you pick up items from a distance, and can also be used to smack monsters and duelers back into a wall.  Except that it doesn’t pick up items, and doesn’t work on monsters or players either.  And for 95% of its potential uses, you could just teleport over and click on the item directly. Plus it comes in charges on all sorts of items, so it’s not even a special Sorcy-only bonus.  Aside from that, it’s pretty roxor.

More installments of this column, and reposts of the other retired columns and guest articles, are coming soon. Here are the 5 Decahedrons that were just put back online.


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