The Story
of Hellfire
by TeRR0RNauT
Version 1.01
Sierra : Can we do an addon for Diablo..?
Blizzard : Yes sure , if you give us some money .
Sierra : But like how much then ?
Blizzard : Well........ ( grabs some leftover money from Diablo). About this amount , yeah that would do ........
Sierra : Ooops , eeeh , we'll try .............
Blizzard : And you'd better make sure it doesn't require any work from our side we got other stuff to do like Starcraft and stuff ....
Sierra : What about multiplayer..??
Blizzard : Only if we don't have to do anything ,well better leave it out ..... They'll buy it anyway...
(Starts counting the "leftover" money )
DAY 2
Coder : Check this out , I've coded multiplayer support cool innit? Let's take a picture for the box....
Art dude : Yeah , it's great , nice pictures too. Wanna try a game , coder ?
Business dude : Sorry to interrupt but you are working here, and if I ....eh .....We want to make some money you'll have to keep on working .
Coder : Sure , why don't you take you're lunch break then we'll do our job
-------Door opens and closes------
Coder : So , he'll be gone for three ours so let's start gaming ....
Art dude : Na-Krul , here we come !!!!
DAY 3
Business dude : Hey man ,we got to print some boxes it's cheap now... Asia crisis and stuff, get it finished you Art dude ....
Art dude : Yeah,Yeah ... (quickly he alt-tabs from hellfire multiplayer to Photoshop). And let's put that multi pic on the back of the box along with those weapons....
DAY 4
Business dude : Get this thing finished , it's costing me...!!!
Coder : Oops no time to finish all the weapons ... Well what do some leftover graphics matter...? And that multi-support it's still beta, Let's hide it somewhere....
Business dude : Are you done yet , I feel like laying off someone, so hurry ....!!!
Coder : Here it is ...
DAY 5
( in a software store )
Stupid dude 1 : Hey man check this out , it's a Diablo addon
Stupid dude 2 : And check out the cool weapons on the back, and there that's multi player ..kewl !!
Stupid dude 1 : And what are those other sign's on this box
Stupid dude 2 : That's called "Words" , it says here sing..sing...single Pl....player, yes that's the word ...And then Addon
Stupid dude 1 : What does Addon mean ?
Stupid dude 2 : I dunno .....
DAY 6
H4ck3R dude : H4cking h3r3 , h4cking th3r3 , h4cking 3v3rywh3r3 .....
H4ck3R dude : Hey this looks like some kind of multiplayer mode lets h4ck it.....
H4ck3R dude : Boy o boy , am I 3l33t or what ...
DAY 7
Stupid dude 1 : Where is this multimode i can't find it ?? And where are the kewl weapons ?
H4ck3R dude : Here use this hack...
Stupid dude 1 : How does that work?
H4ck3R dude : Just open a dos-promt and --is interrupted by Stupid dude 1--
Stupid dude 1 : What is dos ? Is that the big button on the front ??
H4ck3R dude : What front ?
Stupid dude 1 : The front of my Compaq ..
H4ck3R dude : Duh , get lost moron ......!!!!
DAY 8
Hex-edit dude : Whoa ... look here it says command.txt
----a while later----
Hex-edit dude : Hoho, this rocks I got multi player ...
DAY 9
Hex-edit dude : Heya , hear this i got this command.txt file ...... And it gives multiplayer, the bard, theo, the cow etc.
Normal dude : Can I play this multi-stuff on battleNet?
Hex-edit dude : No use Kali and stuff...
Normal dude : Kali ? , that's hard ..... Let's just spamm Blizzard about some BattleNet support ....
that would be easier..
DAY 10
Blizzard : Sierra
(hollow echo )
Siiieeerrrrraaaaa !!!!?????? Anybody there....
Bizz dude :Yeah, yeah what's up ?
Blizzard : We're being spammed about hellfire-Battlenet-Support..
Bizz dude :BattleNet ?
Coder : Kewl ,does Battlenet work ?
Blizzard : Nope , and it would require work on our side, And we just wanted money from this deal , not work...
Besides Starcraft is already late and Diablo 2 will be later so cut it out of the bloody game..
Coder : That suck's, can't I do Battlenet support ?
Bizz dude :No way, stupid, people have already bought the game so we would be morons to start working for zero bucks...
Coder : But I --is interrupted by Blizzard--
Blizzard : (holds up a contract the size of the latest edition of Encyclopedia Britanica). And read this line here, Yes, That line, The one micron sized print, Here it says "Single player addon". So get it out of the bloody game, dammit...
Coder : Okay , okay ...
DAY 11
Coder : The patch is ready and multiplayer is out... and i've added a barbarian... (and say's to himself : "and it's updated to version beta2, and it still can be hacked out. God i wish i was a barbarian instead of a nerd so i could axe that bizz dude" )
Bizz dude : Finally , now that's done I can finally go on my "work"-tour trough the Caribbean
Coder : GGGGRRRRR......
DAY 12
Hex-edit dude : This sucks the multitest in the command.txt doesn't work anymore...
H4ck3R Dude : It's H4ck|ng T|M3 , try this
Hex-edit dude : It work's , thanks!!
H4ck3R Dude : Th4t's b3c4u$3 |'m 3l33T...
Coder : Cool init this multiplayer-stuff There are hacked DLLs that seem to allow multiplayer, but Sierra does not and cannot recommend the use of such. (I would say "wink wink, nudge nudge", but then I wouldn't sound sincere...)
DAY 13
Business dude : (calls from the beach of a sunny Caribbean island) Hey , Coder you've left multiplay in the game
Coder : Errrr , Well it isn't in the product if you don't hack it..
Business dude : Don't try to fool me you're all fired , all of you ....
Art dude : That's not fair , why...??
Business dude : You're causing too much trouble and since Blizzard and Sierra are part of the same company we don't trouble each other. Got to go now, and work on my tan, "Good" luck
Coder : He's too far away to grind him with an axe So I'll make an action plan .....
Art dude : Okay see you tomorrow....
DAY 14
Coder : Here is the plan, We'll tell the whole story to a journalist. So Sierra will be damaged and has to take us back.
Art dude : Great plan .
Coder : Here it goes ...... (sends the story by e-mail to gamecenter )
DAY 15
Business dude : You're ruining my vacation ....... Art dude you're not fired .... We got to keep our image nice and shiny
Art dude : Yes, it worked...
Coder : What about me .....
Business dude : We're not 'that' desperate.....
Coder : ( grabs a King's Great Axe of Haste ) We'll meet again don't know where don't know when ....
Business dude : OOOOOOOOOOpppps, ( running sounds )
DAY 16
Blizzard : Man that Starcraft is taking ages, then instead lets draw some attention with some Diablo 2 alpha stuff so they won't notice the Starcraft delay ..............Yep it Works ...... And no more hellfire spamm either ...... (Starts counting 100$ bills)
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the Reality X Hellfire site is copyright Reality X 1997, 1998.
Written permission must be sought from Reality X before it is reproduced on any webpage
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All images are copyright Sierra Online
and permission must be sought from them before use.
Webmaster/Maintainer: Elly. Created on 3 October
1997.